


Try and Keep the Faith

by chemicalcandy



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Frank Iero, Bottom Gerard Way, Crushes, Fluff and Smut, Frank's cheating on someone but it's really kind of fluffy, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Top Frank Iero, Top Gerard Way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:34:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23464021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemicalcandy/pseuds/chemicalcandy
Summary: Even if their relationship isn't perfect, Frank does love Aaron. And he does want to marry him, want to spend his life with him. And he totally wouldn't give up everything if he ran into his long-lost, long-term crush to be with him instead.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 121
Kudos: 220





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Please enjoy this little fluffy ish story that I'm writing to keep myself happy during social distancing. I'm also working on the next chapter of Crosses to Bear - stay tuned! ^-^

The first thing Frank saw when he opened his eyes was his alarm clock. 7:27. If he were working today, he’d already be up right now, probably just out of the shower and thinking about how he really didn’t want to go to work that day… But he wouldn’t have to, he thought as he sleepily closed his eyes again. Not today, or the day after, not the whole fucking week. He smiled thinking about how he’d get to sleep in every day if he wanted to. Have breakfast at like 9 in the morning instead of his usual, strict 7:45. Finally he’d be able to watch Black Mirror and read that book his mom had given him for Christmas and buy a birthday present for his dad. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted this week.

Of course, his time off would’ve been so much better if Aaron were staying home, too. That had been their original plan. Maybe they would’ve even made a two-day trip to a city nearby or something. Anything that would help Frank get away from it all for a little while. But Aaron wasn’t one for spontaneous trips, anyway, so Frank guessed that it wouldn’t have been as fun as he’d imagined. And if Aaron had to work, he had to work.

Frank rolled over and blinked his eyes open once more, smiling at his fiancé’s relaxed face. He looked so peaceful, completely unaware his alarm would go off in only two minutes, breathing deeply and slowly. Sometimes Frank couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Most people his age weren’t even thinking about getting married, and here he was, right next to his husband-to-be, in the apartment they shared. Sure, he didn’t have a ring yet, because apparently, Aaron’s decision to pop the question last Saturday had been rather impulsive… but Frank didn’t mind. They were engaged, that was all he cared about.

7:29. Aaron’s alarm would go off any second now. Frank bit down on his lip as he slowly scooted closer and slipped under the covers. If he had to work today while Frank got to stay at home, he at least deserved to wake up to something special.

It was hot under the covers, so Frank decided to just kick them off after a second. He tugged Aaron’s underwear down as carefully as he could, just far enough so he could get his limp dick out, and teased him with his tongue. Aaron made a sleepy noise and his hands came down to caress Frank’s head, combing through his hair. Slowly, Frank continued his gentle movements, feeling him start to fill out.

Then the alarm went off. Frank pulled back to glance up at Aaron as he cursed and turned it off, looking annoyed that they’d been interrupted. Somehow the expression on his face made Frank feel like this was his fault. “Morning, baby,” he mumbled, using his hand to help him get harder. “Sorry. Should’ve turned that off before I started.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Aaron mumbled. His hands were back in Frank’s hair, pushing him toward his crotch, so Frank opened his mouth and started bobbing his head. Aaron wasn’t much of a morning person, but blowjobs generally lifted his mood, so Frank hoped he could still make this day start off well for him. He didn’t say anything else as he filled out in Frank’s mouth, just letting Frank set the rhythm and moaning gently.

Frank was good at sucking dick. He could tell because he could get Aaron off in a few minutes if he used his tongue and hollowed his cheeks and did all the other things Aaron had taught him over the years. He let him practice a whole lot too. Frank was proud of his skills, in a way; it felt good to know he could make someone feel so good with just his mouth. Which was why he liked giving head so much.

Then Aaron mumbled something Frank didn’t catch. Frank cringed even before he lifted his head to ask him to repeat himself – he knew Aaron didn’t like saying the same thing twice. He also really didn’t like talking in the morning, not before he’d had his coffee…

“Sorry, what did you say?” he asked him as gently as he could, but Aaron let out an annoyed huff anyway.

“You’re still stretched from last night, right?” he said, already pulling Frank up by his hair. Frank leaned over him with a grin.

“Maybe,” he said playfully and gave him a brief kiss. He wiggled his ass and yelped when Aaron smacked it, giggling as his skin stung pleasantly. “Why don’t you find out?”

If he wanted to take him without prep, it would probably be a little painful, but Frank reckoned he could take it as long as he went in slow and used lots of lube. So he didn’t protest when Aaron pushed him off, making him lie down on his stomach, yanked his underwear down, and knelt between his spread legs. Frank mewled as he propped his head on his forearms. Aaron pulled his cheeks apart and let out a pleased sound, then grabbed the lube from the nightstand, and squeezed it onto his fingers. He didn’t give Frank a warning before he pressed two into him swiftly, making him hiss and push his hips into the mattress. His own cock was semi-hard, filling out rapidly as Aaron pushed his fingers in and out a few times.

“Good?”

Frank nodded and tilted his hips up a little more. Some more prep wouldn’t have hurt, but Aaron needed to get ready for work, so it wasn’t like he could spend the next thirty minutes with his fingers up Frank’s ass.

His cock was pushing in a second later, making Frank grip the sheets tightly. He spread his legs a little wider and forced himself to take a few deep breaths to relax as Aaron made him take his entire length. “Fuck, you always fill me out so good,” Frank moaned when Aaron bottomed out, giving the two of them a moment to get used to the feeling. “Feel so fucking full, baby.”

Aaron grunted in response. He usually wasn’t opposed to talking dirty but well, it was early, so Frank decided to focus on keeping his moans at bay instead of saying anything else. It wasn’t like they’d ever gotten a complaint for being too loud or anything – Frank did have _some_ self-control – but Aaron was always paranoid their neighbors would hear them. So Frank kept quiet. As best as he could, anyway.

A few moans and encouraging words still trembled from his lips as Aaron started fucking him. It wasn’t really fast but deep, so each thrust had Frank feel like he was bursting. As Frank had given him head before, it didn’t take very long for Aaron to orgasm. Frank bit down on his hand when his rhythm suddenly got faster, desperately trying to keep his noises down when Aaron sped up yet a little more. He came with a quiet moan deep inside of Frank, making Frank hum appreciatively, as his forehead came down to rest between Frank’s shoulder blades. Then he pulled out and rolled to the side, still breathing heavily.

“That was good,” Frank mumbled. His cock was still hard, by now aching and desperate for attention, so he stayed on his front and moved his hips into the mattress, moaning at the friction.

Now a little more awake and in a better mood, Aaron gave him a small smirk. “Yeah, fuck. It really was. Need a hand with that?”

Frank moaned and nodded, quickly turning around. He was rock-hard, pink at the tip and dying to touch himself – but if Aaron was gonna get him off, he could wait a little longer. It was pretty rare he was willing to help Frank get off after he’d fucked him because he usually was too exhausted or tired or lazy or whatever. But today Frank had done well. Well enough for Aaron to get him off.

But then Aaron mumbled a “Hold on,” and turned around, checking the time, and fuck, there went Frank’s dreams of fucking Aaron’s fist. It wasn’t _super_ late and Frank was sure he could’ve squeezed in a quick handjob, because honestly, he was pretty damn close already, but Aaron was already getting up, cursing under his breath. “Oh, this is just great. Gonna be fucking late again.”

Frank sat up and rested his back against the headboard as he watched Aaron hurry around the room, getting some fresh underwear and a clean shirt. “You still got plenty of time, baby,” Frank said, trying to calm him down a little. “You’re stressing yourself out.”

“I’m stressing myself out?” Aaron said, throwing Frank a harsh look before he slipped his shirt over his head. “Not everyone here gets to do nothing all day, Frank, and you know my boss is keeping a close eye on me after what happened last week. So excuse me for being stressed. I wouldn’t be if you weren’t so goddamn horny all the time.”

Feeling guilty, Frank glanced down at his cock. He was still hard but not aching to be touched anymore, and knowing he would just have to do it himself again was a little disheartening. “I’m sorry,” he said, but he wasn’t sure Aaron heard him because he was already hurrying into the bathroom.

When he heard Aaron had turned on the shower, he wrapped his hand around himself with a sigh and forced himself to think about Aaron’s body, not about how he was upset because of him now. He could feel his cum leaking out of him and swallowed down a moan imagining Aaron would finger him again, feel how loose he was after he’d fucked him. Maybe he’d take him again, just using his fingers, maybe a toy. Let Frank touch himself at the same time, move the dildo in and out at the same rhythm Frank worked his hand over his cock, maybe even touching Frank himself…

His orgasm wasn’t really satisfying, but it was enough. Frank took a moment to recompose himself, then he wiped the semen off his stomach with his used boxers and heaved himself up. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep, so he might as well get dressed, make some coffee and start his day.

By the time the coffee was ready, a whole new problem had occurred. Aaron couldn’t find his car keys and was sure that was Frank’s fault. Frank was sure he hadn’t even seen the damn keys. They hadn’t gone out this weekend, so the last time Aaron had used his car would’ve been Friday afternoon, when he’d come home from work. Frank had no idea where he’d put his keys.

“Fuck, you _must’ve_ put them somewhere else. I always leave them by the fucking door,” Aaron grunted. He was currently on his hands and knees, searching for his keys on the floor. “Where are they?”

“Baby, I don’t know,” Frank said for the fifth time. He hurried to look for them in the bedroom, just because they’d already checked every other room. “Just take my car. I’ll look for your keys while you’re at work.”

“Your car’s a joke.”

Frank huffed and continued searching the drawers. “It’s still a car,” he said quietly. He knew it wasn’t a very nice one, especially in comparison to Aaron’s BMW. But he’d had it for years and was weirdly attached to it.

“Shit, I’m so gonna be late. My car’s going in the shop on Thursday, what if I can’t find my fucking keys till then? Fuck, Frank. What am I gonna do?”

“Just take my car for now,” Frank repeated. As expected, his sock drawer search wasn’t successful. He sighed and went back to the living room, grabbing his keys from the small end table by the front door and forced them into Aaron’s hand. “Please. I promise your keys will turn up again.”

Aaron groaned but eventually nodded and pocketed Frank’s keys. “Okay. Fuck. Guess there’s no other way.”

Frank didn’t get a word of thanks, but that was alright. His car _was_ pretty shitty.

Once he’d figured out how he’d get to work, Aaron grabbed his bag, then hurried toward the door. Frank followed him hesitantly. “Oh, and buy some milk when you go out later, yeah?” he said as he slipped his shoes on. “Milk and tomatoes.”

Suppressing a sigh, Frank saluted. “Yes, sir,” he said jokingly.

“And bananas. And we’re almost out of paper towels.”

“Baby, you’re supposed to put that on the list on the fridge, remember?” Frank said gently, even though that had been the rule for the past year. “You want something, you just-”

“I’m gonna be late for work,” Aaron interrupted him, rolling his eyes. “You really think I got time to write that on the stupid list right now? Just write it down yourself if you can’t remember it.”

Frank bit down on his lip and nodded. That wasn’t what he’d meant – he just hadn’t given up hope that maybe he could start doing it _someday_ in the future, but he knew Aaron didn’t have time to talk about that now. “Okay. Sorry,” he said, then got on the tip of his toes to kiss him goodbye. “Have a nice day, alright? I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Milk, tomatoes, paper towels, bananas,” Aaron said again. He waited for Frank to nod before he seemed satisfied and turned around to leave. “See you later, Frankie.”

Frank didn’t go out to buy groceries immediately. He had the whole goddamn day to do that, so he might as well just relax for now. He drank his by then lukewarm cup of coffee, then gulped down the one he had poured for Aaron as well before he continued looking for the keys. Now that he could take his time, he could think about it rationally, so he found them in the back pocket of the pair of jeans Aaron had worn on Friday after only a few minutes. He took a picture of himself holding the keys up and sent it to his fiancé, adding _If you’d done the laundry you like you promised you wouldn’t have had to look for them :D xo_ , before dropping the item of clothing back in the hamper. Maybe he’d just do the laundry later. He did have a lot of fucking time on his hands right now and Aaron would probably be happy about it.

Eventually it got too weird being all alone in his apartment and Frank went out to their usual supermarket a few blocks away. He was so used to having Aaron there all the time, apart from most Thursday nights that Aaron spent with his guys and that one hour he was by himself after he got home from work every weekday, and he usually spent it cooking dinner for the both of them. Having the whole week to himself felt strange.

Any other day, he would’ve taken his car, but he figured walking would work, too. The way back was going to be a pain in the ass since he’d have to carry the milk and all, but oh well. He hadn’t gotten a workout in way too long anyway, and this was as close as it got right now. Besides, going on a little walk wasn’t too bad, either. It was finally getting warmer outside again. Those cold winter months in Jersey were always kind of depressing, and while Frank didn’t exactly love the heat of the summer either, he was glad it wasn’t freezing outside anymore. Now he got to enjoy a few weeks of mild, sunny days.

He felt pretty good when he reached the supermarket, like the sun had filled him up with energy with every step he’d taken. Maybe he could convince Aaron to go on a date with him later. They hadn’t really gone out much lately and Frank really felt like doing something fun. Maybe they could have dinner or see a movie or just go for a long walk together. There was this amazing Italian place close to their apartment that they used to frequent. Aaron hadn’t agreed to have dinner there in a long time… but maybe today was Frank’s lucky day.

“Frank? Frank Iero?”

Surprised and fairly sure he’d misheard, Frank stopped in his tracks and turned around. A man was standing by his car. While Frank was busy figuring out whether he could’ve gotten sunstroke on the short way here, he closed the trunk and started jogging toward him. Frank’s brain still had trouble catching up. He knew that face so well, and he felt a little jolt in his guts as he watched him come closer, but it couldn’t be real. He hadn’t seen Gerard in _years_. There was no way he was standing in front of him right now.

“Uh, hi,” Frank managed eventually, freezing when Gerard pulled him into a hug. He smelled good. Like coffee and this weird, indescribable scent that was just Gerard and – wow, shampoo. He’d washed his hair.

He looked good too. When he let go of Frank, Frank realized he didn’t just have better hygiene these days, he’d also dyed his hair. His face looked different too, somehow sharper, more defined, but he still had that same smile Frank used to fucking daydream about and those eyes that had definitely helped Frank realize he wasn’t into girls, and Frank knew he must be staring, but he kind of couldn’t _stop_. He’d been attractive before, but now Frank felt like his brain was circuiting and his legs would stop holding him up any moment just looking at him.

Gerard was grinning at him. “Gerard,” he reminded him, and Frank forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down a little. “Mikey’s brother? Don’t say you don’t remember me.”

“Yeah, no, I do. Sorry. I just- I really wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said awkwardly.

Luckily, Gerard didn’t seem to notice how nervous he was. “I bet,” he chuckled. “I’m on spring break, so I’m back in Jersey for a few days. Man, it’s been what, three years? Holy shit! How have you been?”

Three years. That sounded about right. The thing was, Frank had _admired_ Gerard before he’d moved to New York. Back then, he’d been one of the few openly gay dudes Frank knew, and Frank’s closeted self had respected him _so_ much. Some people gave Gerard weird looks or asked him disrespectful questions or made jokes about him and Gerard just _took_ it, just laughed along, and he was patient and awesome and generally the best person ever. He’d helped Frank come out, even if he didn’t know that. His courage had driven Frank to tell his parents and friends he was gay, and if he hadn’t come out back then, he probably wouldn’t have Aaron now. He had no idea, but Frank owed Gerard a fucking _lot_.

Before Aaron, Frank had spent years silently worshipping Gerard. He’d seen him whenever he was at Mikey’s place and sometimes at school, and whenever he hadn’t seen Gerard, he’d spent his time thinking about him. But of course, he’d never made a move or anything like that. Gerard was way too fucking cool for him. Not in the _I’m an asshole with seventy friends I don’t care about one bit_ kind of way. He’d just always been this quiet genius, creative and smart and not ashamed of who he was, and Frank knew he couldn’t live up to that. He hadn't even told Mikey about his crush, even though they used to tell each other everything.

Then Aaron had happened and Gerard had moved to New York, so Frank reckoned it didn’t matter, anyway. It had just been a stupid, very fucking huge crush. Which was why it was weird he was talking to Gerard now, after not seeing him for three years. Suddenly he wished he weren’t wearing the ratty hoodie he’d owned since he was a teenager.

“Good,” he said, clearing his throat because it felt dry. “I’m doing pretty alright.”

“You used to date that guy back then, right? Aaron something? He still your boyfriend?”

Frank lowered his gaze and smiled. “Nope. He’s-”

“Oh, good,” Gerard said before Frank could finish. “That guy is such a dick. I mean, I obviously don’t know him that well, but I trust Mikey’s judgment and… honestly good for you you’re not seeing him anymore.”

“He’s my fiancé,” Frank added quietly, biting down on his lip.

Despite his confidence, a faint blush crept onto Gerard’s cheeks as he started laughing. “Oh shit,” he said, shaking his head. “Shit, I’m sorry, Frank. Wow, way to ruin the whole conversation.”

“No, it’s okay,” Frank said. He would’ve fucking prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him whole if that had happened to him. But Gerard was just laughing at his own mistake, shrugging it off after a moment, his eyes sparkling, and wow, Frank was still totally awed by him. “No harm done. He… he can be a little hard to deal with. But… how are you? How do you like the city?”

“Okay, I know you were kind of about to buy groceries, and just tell me to fuck off if you’re in a hurry, but how about we grab a coffee somewhere? Catch up a bit? It’s really good to see you again.”

“Sure,” Frank said, maybe a little too loudly. His heart gave a weird squeeze, reminding him he definitely shouldn’t be hanging out with the guy he used to fantasize about day and night, not when he was engaged… but on the other hand, Gerard knew he was taken, and they’d just be talking. Which was fine. Even if Aaron definitely wasn’t going to _love_ it when Frank would tell him about it later.

“Great! Uh, there’s a Starbucks over there. That okay?”

Obviously, that was very okay with Frank. He had to remind himself more than once that it wasn’t appropriate to be checking Gerard out when they waited for their coffee, then again when they sat down at a table in the back. Frank was glad he finally got to sit down. His knees were still wobbly and in desperate need of a break.

“So. You’re engaged to a guy I just trash-talked. What else is going on with you? Please tell me your dream of becoming a rock star came true,” Gerard said. His voice was unfairly entrancing. Frank kind of just wanted him to keep talking about literally anything so he could keep staring at him and maybe drool in his coffee a bit.

Instead, he had to get his brain to form actual sentences. He’d always been pretty awkward around him – time to show him he’d matured and wasn’t just a kid anymore. He chuckled thinking about his time in a band and shook his head. “Uh, no, unfortunately not. We split up pretty much right after we graduated. But I sometimes still play by myself. I work in insurance now.” Gerard gave him a smile that looked almost compassionate, and Frank grinned. “Yeah, I know. It’s not thrilling. But it’s honestly not that bad, and like, I got the whole week off, so…”

“Really? That’s awesome! I’ll be in town the whole week. You got any plans?”

Frank ignored how his heart accelerated like crazy as he realized where Gerard was going with this. “Uh. No, not really.”

“Awesome,” Gerard repeated, beaming at him. He took a sip from his coffee, not breaking eye contact, and Frank’s throat was dry all over again. Feeling himself blush, he focused on his mug on the table, thumb tracing the rim.

 _We’re just catching up,_ he reminded himself, staring at the mug. _Just talking_. Still, he felt weirdly guilty thinking about what Aaron would think if he saw him blushing like this.

Then Gerard began talking about his own life and Frank could stop worrying about his fiancé for a couple of minutes. Frank hadn’t made the trip to New York in a very long time, but as Gerard started describing busy streets, honking cabs, crowded subways, and unbelievable skyscrapers, Frank felt like he was _there_ , mixed in with those endless masses of faceless people. Then Gerard talked about how he loved Art School and how he was learning all kinds of shit and how happy that made him, and how he did miss Jersey a lot, but he was almost done now and would probably get to move back here soon. Sometimes he thought about Frank too, he told him casually (and Frank almost choked on his coffee), and just a few days ago, he’d wondered how he was doing. It was good to hear everything was going so well for him.

“So, have you been talking to Mikey at all?” he asked a few minutes later.

Since he’d already finished his coffee, Frank didn’t have any excuse to prolong his answer. He clutched the mug and tried not to look guilty when he responded. “No,” he mumbled. “We had this argument, remember?”

“Oh, I know. I just thought you would’ve made up by now,” Gerard said nonchalantly. He had talked so much that he’d barely touched his coffee yet and quickly took a few sips. Frank felt like slapping himself when he caught himself staring at his lips. “You guys were like, _so_ close. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel like it but… surely you can just forgive each other?”

“I don’t know. He’s probably still mad at me. I was kind of an asshole to him,” Frank said quietly.

“Well, do you wanna talk to him again? Cause I’m sure he’s not mad anymore. It’s been years,” Gerard remarked seriously. “You should just talk about it. Or actually, don’t even mention it. I don’t think he’s mad anymore. I’ll just let him know I ran into you and that you wanna see him… I don’t know, tomorrow? Oh wait, he’s working late until Friday. Maybe Saturday, then?”

Frank wanted to. So bad. He’d always wanted to make things up with him because he missed him and he was sorry. He really was. But Aaron had never really liked Frank’s friends… He disliked Mikey especially. So Frank had just forced himself not to think about Mikey too much. “Thank you but I don’t think that’ll work out. Aaron’s got Saturday off and he’ll probably want to spend the day with me.”

“He can come with.” Gerard shrugged, raising his brows at him. “Just apologize and go have a drink or whatever.”

“Aaron doesn’t like Mikey very much…”

“And Mikey can’t stand Aaron. They’ll be fine for just one night.” When Frank didn’t look convinced, Gerard sighed. “Okay, how about sometime next week then? Or on Sunday? You can leave Aaron for an hour or two, right?”

Frank squirmed in his chair. He didn’t really want to tell Gerard about all this… but then again, he hadn’t had the chance to open up to anyone but Aaron in months. Aaron didn’t like him going out with friends, and going anywhere that wasn’t the supermarket or the dentist _alone_ was just a no go. He also didn’t want Gerard to feel like he didn’t _want_ Mikey to forgive him. He just couldn’t. And even if he did forgive him, Frank would never be able to hang out with him, anyway.

“Frank, what’s up?” Gerard asked, frowning at Frank. “You got plans on Sunday? It’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“No, I don’t,” Frank said. “It’s just… Aaron will be home on Sunday too. I can’t just go out by myself.”

“Why not?”

“Because… he doesn’t want me to?” Frank said quickly, looking down when Gerard’s brows shot up. “I’ll ask him though. Okay? Maybe he’ll want to come.”

“You know you can make your own decisions, right?”

Frank felt his face heat up. Way to make Gerard think he was mature. “I know,” he said. “I do make my own decisions. I just like to… make sure Aaron is okay with everything first, you know?”

“It kinda sounds like he’s keeping you prisoner,” Gerard said. Frank snorted, but when he looked up and saw Gerard wasn’t smiling, he wiped the grin off his face.

“It’s not like that.” He shook his head, placing the mug on the table before he leaned back in his chair. “He just doesn’t like me meeting people he doesn’t know. It’s not like he doesn’t let me see my friends. He just likes to be there too. And he and Mikey never really got along, so…”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy to me. You should be allowed to meet whoever you wanna meet and go wherever you wanna go, whether he likes it or not,” Gerard argued, making Frank feel ashamed. He knew Aaron was kind of… possessive of him. But that was okay. He just loved Frank and didn’t want to lose him.

“He gets jealous very easily,” Frank explained, voice weak. He didn’t want Gerard to see him as some sort of victim. He was in a happy relationship. “He’s insecure.”

“Right,” Gerard said skeptically. “Look, it’s admirable you go to such lengths to keep him happy and all, but honestly, sounds like that guy has a problem. He should treat you better.”

“He treats me alright,” Frank mumbled.

“Alright isn’t enough.” Gerard set his mug down and fixed Frank with a look that had him flush all over again. They were both quiet for a moment. Frank searched his brain for other ways he could defend Aaron because it really wasn’t as bad as Gerard probably assumed now. He was satisfied with how their relationship was going. They had their ups and downs but… he loved him. Then Gerard sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, it’s really none of my business,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to justify yourself for wanting to marry that guy or anything. I know we haven’t talked in so long and I don’t know enough about you guys to be saying shit like this. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, you know?”

“It’s fine,” Frank said quickly. “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s… nice to know you care. But I’m happy.”

For a moment, Gerard squinted for him, as if silently asking _Are you really_? Then he just nodded and gave Frank a brief smile. “Okay. I’m glad.” He checked his watch and let out a sigh. “Shit, I gotta get going. My mom is kind of waiting for me to bring her those eggs.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine,” Gerard said, waving it off. “Hey so, can I get your number before I go? It was really nice catching up with you and I’d love to talk some more… Well, as long as you don’t have any plans and/or fiancés forcing you to stay home all week.”

“I don’t. Have any plans, I mean. And Aaron will be… working,” Frank explained stupidly.

Gerard grinned at him. “So that’s a yes?”

* * *

“Baby, I’m _sorry_. What else do you want me to say?”

Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. It had been such a long and eventful day, and ever since he’d talked to Gerard again, he somehow hadn’t been able to think a straight thought. So he had forgotten to buy the four things Aaron wanted him to get. Which technically wasn’t even his fault, because he _had_ bought all the things on the list, and if Aaron had just put them on there, he would’ve remembered them for sure. He’d only noticed on his way home, and even without the milk, the bags had been pretty heavy, so he’d just shrugged it off and decided to buy the remaining things tomorrow because surely Aaron wouldn’t mind – but he did. He was kind of really angry.

“I told you _this morning_ ,” Aaron sighed, sounding exasperated. Frank took a deep breath and braced himself for another wave of accusations. “This morning. You had the whole goddamn day to yourself and you can’t even do that one thing for me? What were you even doing? The apartment looks like shit, you didn’t do the dishes, you only bought half the groceries we needed… Were you just doing nothing all day?”

Frank thought that was pretty unfair. Of course, it was _their_ apartment, but Frank was still paying rent because Aaron hadn’t officially moved in yet. Frank was cool with that – he knew Aaron needed the money to pay off his car and all that – but hearing him complain about how dirty it was when really it looked totally okay was one step too far. “Sorry,” he said instead of getting angry too. He knew Aaron was always stressed when he came home from work and that he didn’t mean it. “You’re right. I’ll just… drive by the supermarket real quick and buy the stuff now. Don’t be mad, okay? I’ll-”

“I’m upset because you clearly don’t listen to me,” Aaron interrupted him. “I asked you to do one thing and you didn’t do it. So going back to the supermarket now won’t fix it.”

“Look. I’m really sorry. I wish I could go back in time and make myself remember – but I can’t. I forgot, baby. I’m sorry. Can we please just… forget about it? I missed you,” he said, slowly stepping closer. He waited for Aaron to nod before he wrapped his arm around him. “Sorry.”

“Missed me so much you couldn’t even remember to buy my bananas?” Aaron mumbled, still annoyed but calmer now.

Frank chuckled and hid his face in the crook of Aaron’s neck. Humor usually was the best solution for situations like this. “Yeah,” he said, shrugging a little. He wouldn’t tell him the real reason his head had been such a mess was running into Gerard. He’d wanted to, before Aaron had come home, but seeing the mood he was in, he knew it would be a very bad idea to make him even more upset. Frank didn’t want them to get into a _real_ argument. “It was weird being without you all day. You know, without work keeping me busy.”

“It’s just a few hours. You’ll be fine,” Aaron responded.

“Yeah, I guess…” Frank sighed, kissing his cheek softly. “Don’t be mad anymore. Please? Dinner’s getting cold. I promise I’ll buy the stuff tomorrow. And I’ll clean the apartment. Okay? How was your day?”

During dinner, Frank couldn’t help but think about what Gerard had said. It didn’t feel like he was being held prisoner but… Maybe Gerard had a point. Pleasing Aaron was always his main concern. He was constantly making sure Aaron was happy with him, apologized for things that weren’t really his fault, just so Aaron wouldn’t be upset.

He knew it wasn’t how most relationships were. His mom kept bugging him about it because she couldn’t stand Aaron – and she didn’t even know what things were like when they were alone. Whenever they had lunch with his mom, Aaron was very polite and kind, way sweeter to Frank than when it was just the two of them. Frank’s mom saw through him though. She’d told Frank she could see he wasn’t happy more than a few times and that it felt like Aaron was terrorizing him, asked him whether he hit him or forced him to do things he didn’t want to do, and Frank had always told her it wasn’t like that at all. If she knew he’d cheated on Frank three times, she’d probably kick the door down, drag Aaron onto the street, and do whatever it took for him to leave Frank alone. When Frank’s dad had cheated on her, she’d thrown him out of the house and filed for divorce so fucking fast. But while Frank really admired her for being so independent and strong, and of course just thinking about Aaron with some other guy made him feel sick, he wouldn’t be able to leave him just because of that. He’d apologized. And he loved Aaron, he wanted to be with him. Still, he was aware of how isolated he was because Aaron wanted him to be, or how it was always about what Aaron wanted, never the other way around. Gerard definitely had a point…

“Are you even listening to me?” Aaron’s annoyed voice snapped Frank out of his thoughts. He quietly scolded himself for drifting off and forced a smile onto his face, knowing how much Aaron hated it when Frank didn’t pay attention to him.

“Of course, baby,” he lied.

Aaron huffed. “Yeah? What did I just say, _baby_?”

“Uh…” Frank paused, biting down on his lip. To be honest, all his days at the office were kind of the same, so Frank could’ve probably made some shit up, but he didn’t want to risk making Aaron even angrier. Instead, he offered him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Aaron, I was kinda distracted. I was thinking about how we could… go on a date tonight? Nothing fancy, maybe just the movies or whatever. If you wanna?”

“If you’d listened to me, you would’ve heard how exhausted I am,” Aaron grumbled. Frank suppressed a sigh. “You know I hate going out on weekdays.”

“I do,” he replied, nodding his head. “Sorry. It’s just… we don’t go out on the weekends either. And that’s fine, I’m not saying I mind, I just-”

“So you’re bored of us.” Aaron squinted at him and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Knowing from experience how quickly this could escalate and that he should be very careful with what he said next, Frank shook his head. “No,” he said emphatically. “That’s not it, baby. I love you. I don’t care if all we ever do is watch TV.”

“You feel like that’s all we ever do?”

“ _No_ ,” Frank repeated, almost imploringly, even though he had to admit that it wasn’t far from the truth. They watched a fuck ton of crappy TV shows Frank didn’t give two shits about. Aaron did, though. He didn’t like movies, he didn’t care Frank had a Netflix subscription. He only liked watching TV. Some nights Frank was pretty sick of watching the same commercials over and over again and would much rather go out and meet some friends or at least go for a damn walk or whatever. But he knew Aaron never felt like doing much after coming home from work. He always met his friends on Thursdays, which was the only day he really went out. So Frank didn’t complain. “Baby, no, that’s not what I meant. I meant that we could do literally anything and I’d be happy as long as we’re together. Can we please not get into another fight?”

Aaron mumbled something under his breath and went back to eating dinner, not looking at Frank again, so Frank too picked up his fork again after a few moments. They ate in silence, but Frank made sure not to let his mind wander too much. Just in case.

Aaron ate up first and got up without waiting for Frank to finish. “I’m going to watch TV now,” he announced coldly, leaving his plate on the table. “Hope that’s not too boring for you.”

“Aaron…” Frank sighed when he turned around and left the kitchen. He really was in an especially bad mood today. It felt like Frank always said the wrong thing and somehow ended up making him mad, so he took his time finishing his meal even though he really wasn’t hungry anymore and did the dishes right after to give Aaron a few minutes to calm down.

He’d much rather curl up in bed and read, but he kind of had to join Aaron on the couch. To show him he wasn’t bored with him. And he also wanted to apologize.

When Frank sat down next to him, Aaron kept his eyes on the TV. Frank scooted closer, carefully resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said, knowing the best way to calm Aaron down was to take all the blame and keep apologizing. “I honestly didn’t mean I’m bored of us. I just wanna spend time with you.”

“Maybe you’re not bored with us, but it sounded like you were bored with _me_ ,” Aaron muttered. He didn’t sound hurt, just like he was desperately looking for something to bitch about, and Frank really had to force himself to keep his cool.

“I love you,” he sighed, stroking Aaron’s arm. “I wanna marry you. I wouldn’t wanna spend my life with someone if I thought they were boring, right?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Aaron mumbled, completely ignoring Frank’s loving words. Gerard had said Frank deserved better…

“What can I do to make it up to you?” Frank asked, trying his best to sound eager instead of disappointed. He lifted his head and tried to catch Aaron’s eye, which was kind of hard as he wouldn’t look away from the damn TV. Frank wished he could just turn it off. “Baby? What can I do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can I suck you off?” He put a hand on his thigh, waiting for Aaron to react before he inched closer to his crotch. “You in the mood, babe?”

Finally, Aaron met Frank’s eye, if only for a moment, and shrugged. “Not really. But if you can get me hard, I guess you could suck me.”

“Oh, I can get you hard alright,” Frank said, already slipping off the couch to get on his knees between Aaron’s legs. He wasn’t really in the mood himself, but Aaron was usually more forgiving after cumming down Frank’s throat.

Aaron only hummed, leaning back when Frank popped his jeans open and got to work. Frank knew he thought he was just irrationally horny all the time because he would offer blowjobs _a lot_ , and it wasn’t like Frank _wasn’t_ horny, but he mainly was just trying to keep him happy.

After a while, Frank managed to block out the annoying voices literally right behind himself and got into it. Aaron hardened in his mouth after only a few minutes, and Frank’s cock quickly took interest too. He knew he had to make Aaron forgive him, so he really gave it his all, moving his tongue until it ached and making himself choke on him, but when he looked up, expecting to find Aaron with his head tipped back and his eyes closed, he was still just fucking watching TV. Frank felt his heart sting.

He didn’t mean for it to happen, but he kind of couldn’t help it. When he closed his eyes and moved his head without really thinking about it, it suddenly didn’t feel like he was sucking off Aaron anymore, because clearly, Aaron didn’t care much anyway. Frank wondered what it would be like to suck Gerard off. Aaron was pretty big, but in Frank’s mind, Gerard was even bigger. His cock twitched in his pants as he made himself sink down even further, imagining Gerard’s mouth dropping open and moans starting to spill from his kissable lips. Frank hadn’t thought about this in so long, but now, all the fantasies he’d struck up all those years ago came back at once, and it was so easy to pretend he was sucking Gerard instead.

Gerard would be praising him, telling him how good it felt and that he loved Frank’s mouth. He’d have his hands on his head, not pushing, just holding on, fingers tightening in Frank’s hair as he moved up and down. Frank would happily keep going and do his very best because Gerard fucking deserved it. He wanted to be good for him, make him moan and tremble, until he couldn’t control himself anymore and thrust his hips up into Frank, making him choke, and Gerard would apologize because he was sweet and he cared, but Frank would just get right back to it because he kind of really didn’t mind a little roughness…

Then there were actual hands on the top of his head, applying pressure, and Frank found himself with his nose against Aaron’s pubes and his cock in his throat. Tears escaped the corners of his eyes as he forced himself to stay still, listening to Aaron’s gasps and groans and feeling his dick pulse in his mouth. When he let him pull off, there was that familiar bitter taste in Frank’s mouth, and Frank’s cock was achingly hard.

He felt guilty looking up at Aaron. This was his fiancé, for fuck’s sake. What had he been thinking? “I’m sorry,” he gasped out, still catching his breath. It felt right. Even if he couldn’t tell Aaron what he was sorry for.

Assuming Frank was still referring to their argument, Aaron shrugged it off. “It’s okay,” he said. “Get up here. I’ll jerk you off.”

Frank all but moaned at his words and hurried to get to his feet. Fucking finally. He fumbled his pants open and straddled Aaron’s lap, pressing up against him eagerly and feeling himself shudder when he wrapped his hand around him. He’d missed this. His own hand didn’t even come close to how good Aaron’s hand felt.

“Jesus, you’re being loud,” Aaron muttered. Frank stifled his moans in Aaron’s neck. He knew he was just complaining because Frank’s noises made it hard to hear what was happening on TV… But Frank was way too far gone to let himself worry about that right now. Aaron’s movements were lazy and far from passionate, but he was _getting him off_. What more could he possibly want?

Again, his brain was trying to replace Aaron’s hand with Gerard’s, but Frank forced himself to fight it after a few moments. Gerard’s hand wouldn’t even feel like this at all. He’d be kissing Frank, maybe teasing him with his fingers, getting him all worked up and ready to explode from a few touches alone. He’d be talking to him, encouraging him, not telling him to quiet down. He’d make sure Frank enjoyed his orgasm just as much as he had…

Aaron used to do that too. There’d been times he’d make Frank cum three times a day, with his hands or mouth. He’d let Frank fuck him whenever he wanted and then used his cum to lube himself up and fuck Frank after he’d cum, until they were both totally sweaty and gross and Frank felt like he’d never be able to walk again and no amount of water and body wash could make him feel like a civilized human being again. Nowadays, he didn’t even think about asking Aaron to let him top. He’d turned him down enough times to know that wasn’t happening again. Which was fine, Frank liked bottoming too, but thinking about how it used to be made him feel like something had gone terribly wrong somewhere along the line.

His orgasm was intense, but it didn’t leave him all dopey and boneless and happy. Frank crawled off Aaron’s lap when his breathing was somewhat normal again, mumbling an apology for getting cum on Aaron’s shirt, and quickly went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth. He collapsed against the wall when he was alone, feeling oddly close to tears and like he needed to take a minute to sort his thoughts. What the fuck was his deal? He was _happy_. Just because he’d seen Gerard again didn’t mean he had to question his entire fucking life. Aaron didn’t deserve this. He might be in a bad mood, but he was still Frank’s fiancé, and Frank thinking about another man while sucking him off was pretty fucking close to cheating on him. He felt disgusted with himself.

“ _Today_ , Frank!” came from the living room, and Frank hurriedly wiped his eyes dry. He apologized and grabbed a washcloth, not wanting Aaron even more upset. 


	2. Chapter 2

Frank had just come back from the laundromat and was contemplating what to make himself for lunch when he got a text from Gerard. It had to be, because Frank didn’t get many texts, even less from unknown numbers, asking him what he was up to and how he was doing. Up to that point, he’d told himself he was going crazy. He’d been with Aaron for over three years, and he was glad about that, and running into Gerard and chatting with him over a cup of coffee wasn’t going to change that. Aaron had been in a way better mood this morning, too. Frank _loved_ him.

Still, Gerard’s text made an entire swarm of butterflies rumble through his stomach, all the way up to his chest and head, making him feel a little light-headed, and wow, this had to stop right now. Gerard was attractive. And he had a killer personality and Frank’s admiration for years. But Aaron… He’d picked Aaron. Gerard couldn’t just swoop in and make Frank regret his life choices, no matter how reasonable and sweet his words had been.

So, after reading the message over and over and struggling to come up with an answer, Frank decided not to answer at all. Not right now, anyway. He needed to get his fucking priorities straight. Which right now lay in making sure that everything was perfect for Aaron so they could have a nice time together later.

He vacuumed the floor after lunch – silently thanking Aaron for not letting him get a dog because at least the apartment was easy to keep clean like this – and went out to buy the remaining groceries when he was done. His stupid brain wouldn’t stop hoping he’d meet Gerard again, and his stupid heart wouldn’t stop beating like crazy when he scanned the parking lot, searching for Gerard’s car. Of course, it wasn’t there. Frank mindlessly got his phone out to reread the text. He didn’t want to be ignoring him. Gerard had been nothing but kind to him, and here he was, acting like a massive asshole. It wasn’t like Gerard was trying to steal him away from Aaron, Frank rebuked himself, shaking his head a little at his own silliness. He was pretty sure Gerard didn’t like him like that. He hadn’t mentioned any boyfriends when he’d told Frank about his current life… but even if he was single didn’t mean he was interested in Frank. He was just trying to be a friend.

When he was waiting in line at the register, he couldn’t take it anymore. He fumbled his phone out of his pocket once again, feeling his cheeks heat up as he typed his reply. It would be just a short, casual text. One that told Gerard he wanted to be friends. And that he was thankful he’d really gotten in touch. And that he was not interested in anything more than friendship. Enough time had passed for Frank not to come across as overly eager, right?

Gerard didn’t care about any of that, apparently. Frank felt his phone vibrate again when he pulled out of the parking lot, and when he got home, he’d gotten two more texts from him.

_Wanna hang out today?_

Then, sent just a few moments later: _It’s cool if you’re busy, just wanna let you know you don’t have to spend all your time with the fiancé_

Frank blushed. He was glad he’d convinced Aaron not to go through his phone anymore because he’d fucking lose it if he ever read these. Maybe Frank would delete them before he came home, anyway. Just in case.

He wanted to see Gerard again. Whether he used to have a crush on him or not, it had felt really damn good to talk to him about his life and his thoughts and his problems and get someone else’s perspective. And he still cared about Gerard. He wanted to know how he was doing and what was happening with him. He wanted to be friends.

But he couldn’t meet him today. It was already 3, so Aaron would come home in a few hours, and there still were some chores he needed to get done first.

He told Gerard that, adding that he was sorry. Then, before he could think about it too much, he sent another text.

_But maybe tomorrow?_

The next few minutes passed torturously slowly. Frank felt like he was fifteen again as he sat there at the table, chewing his bottom lip and checking his phone every two seconds with his heart going a hundred miles per hour. And just when he started questioning himself again, reminding himself he was _engaged_ , his phone finally vibrated and his worries flew out of the window.

The rest of the day he couldn’t think about anything but how he was meeting Gerard tomorrow for another coffee. He hoped he’d have a little more time for him than the day before, but even if it would only be a few minutes, it would be the highlight of Frank’s day. Then his eyes settled on a photo of himself and Aaron he’d put on the shelf and the butterflies turned into a cold, hard ball that sat heavily in his stomach and made him realize what a massive asshole he was being.

Aaron being in a bad mood again didn’t really help him come to his senses, either. Something bad had happened at work, but he didn’t want to talk about it, and when Frank kept pushing him to tell him what was wrong, he stopped talking to him altogether. He didn’t care Frank had spent the whole day cleaning and doing things he’d hoped would please him, or that he was just trying to be a good partner, or that he teared up a little when Aaron just kept ignoring him.

Not all days were like this, he reminded himself as he lay down next to Aaron some hours later, feeling exhausted. Aaron was pretending to be asleep, but Frank could tell he was just faking it. He apologized one last time and refused to start crying again when he didn’t get a response, forcing himself to focus on nicer things. Like that he was having coffee with Gerard tomorrow. He really felt like he deserved to have something to look forward to.

* * *

Even though Frank had decided to walk instead of going by car, he was early. He’d tried to force himself not to leave the apartment ten minutes earlier than he had to in order to get to the Starbucks comfortably, but he’d been so restless and excited that he’d eventually given up and just gone outside. And even though he regretted it about five minutes later because it started raining, he was still thrumming with nerves.

It would be fine, he told himself. He’d just order two cups of coffee – he still remembered how Gerard liked his – and sit at a table and bide his time for a few minutes, and then Gerard would hopefully show up, and it totally wasn’t weird he’d arrived so early.

Except when he entered the coffee shop, his hair wet and his body trembling a little, Gerard was already there. Frank’s stomach did two fucking somersaults in a row when he saw him sitting at the table they’d picked on Monday, waving at him with that dorky, perfect smile on his lips, and all Frank could do was stumble in his direction.

“Black coffee and a chocolate chunk cookie for the gent,” Gerard said, pushing one of the mugs on the table towards the chair Frank sat down on and making Frank chuckle as he took off his damp denim jacket. It seemed like Gerard had had the exact same idea he’d had.

“Thank you very much,” he replied. When he got his wallet out to pay him back, Gerard pushed it away gently, putting his hand on top of Frank’s, and okay, Frank’s heart was about to explode. His hands were kind of cold but Frank knew that wasn’t the reason he had to suppress a shiver. He smiled at Gerard to cover it up and put his wallet back in his pocket, thanking him again.

“Don’t worry about it,” Gerard said good-naturedly, then took a sip from his coffee. For a second, he looked exactly like he had before he’d gone to New York. Frank felt a wave of nostalgia remembering how Mikey had introduced him to Gerard all those years ago, how Frank had learned he was gay and how he was so okay with it and that he was into comics and magic and weird stuff, and thus making Frank admire him more and more each day. He remembered that sickening feeling he’d had finding out Gerard was seeing someone. How happy he'd been some weeks later when Mikey had told him they’d broken up, even though he knew what a jerk that made him. The time Gerard had gotten drunk for the first time, all by himself in his room in the basement, and then he’d come up to Mikey’s room and been all funny and silly and adorable, and Frank had fallen in love with him all over again while Mikey had yelled at him to move away from the TV because he was ruining their game of Mario Kart.

It all felt like ages ago, but somehow like it had just happened, almost as if he could just call Mikey up and talk about school and parents and bands again. He wondered how he’d ended up stuck inside his own apartment with his fiancé when he’d played Mario Kart with Mikey and had embarrassing thoughts about his brother not too long ago.

Then Gerard started talking about Mikey’s job at a diner where he worked full time and his girlfriend and his plans to buy a new car, and Frank had to come to terms with the fact that they weren’t teenagers anymore. Above it all, he realized yet again how much he missed Mikey. And he couldn’t help but wonder if they’d still be friends if it weren’t for Aaron forbidding him from apologizing to Mikey and making him delete his number. He guessed they probably would be, and his heart ached at the realization. Had he really traded Mikey for Aaron somewhere along the line? And did he want to have Aaron in his life instead of Mikey?

 _Of course_ , his brain supplied furiously a moment later. _You love him_.

He asked Gerard about his parents – Frank had gotten kind of close with them over the years, too – and was glad to hear both of them were doing well. Their grandmother had passed away a few months ago though. Frank knew both Gerard and Mikey had always had a very close relationship with her and that her passing away must’ve been really damn painful. Frank hadn’t been there to comfort Mikey at all…

“He does want to get in touch again, by the way,” Gerard said, smiling when Frank’s eyes widened. “Like I said. He’s not angry anymore. Just maybe a little disappointed you still haven’t dumped Aaron.”

“Oh,” Frank replied. He knew Mikey didn’t like Aaron, but he wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Um, that’s great. I miss him. I feel really bad I wasn’t there for him when your grandma died.”

“Yeah, that was a rough time…” he trailed off, making Frank feel even guiltier, but then he shook his head and looked at Frank thoughtfully. “So, I know your argument was because of Aaron, right? Because you wouldn’t listen to Mikey when he told you he wasn’t good for you and eventually you just stopped replying to his texts and wouldn’t hang out with him anymore but… knowing what I know now, that probably wasn’t your fault, huh? Did he make you stop talking to Mikey?”

Frank hesitated. Technically, that was kind of what had happened. “It was still my fault though,” he said quickly. Gerard looked satisfied, like he’d already said what he’d wanted to hear. “I was being a terrible friend. It was just hard because… I didn’t know what to do. I’d never really dated anyone before and Aaron was kind of…”

“Obsessed with making sure you do as he said?”

“No,” Frank said, shaking his head. He couldn’t come up with a better way to phrase it though, so he just took a deep breath and hoped Gerard wouldn’t push it. “I’m just saying Mikey’s got every right to be mad at me. And I owe him like, a hundred apologies. But if he really wants to get in touch again, maybe we could… find a way to do it without Aaron knowing about it?”

A quiet voice in his head was aggressively telling him to cut the bullshit right now and that he shouldn’t even think about keeping secrets from his fiancé, but the possibility of seeing Mikey again was way too good not to take it. 

“You really feel like you’d have to lie to him just because you wanna meet an old friend?”

Frank sighed. “I don’t know. I just don’t want him angry. But I also really wanna see Mikey again.”

“So just meet up with Mikey. And tell him about it. If he gets mad, that’s his fucking problem.”

“But I don’t want him mad,” Frank argued, frowning. Aaron wouldn’t talk to him for weeks if he just went ahead and met up with the one friend he disliked the most. Maybe he’d even move out, live with his brother for a few days. Frank felt sick just imagining how lonely he’d feel if he had to stay in his apartment all alone for that long. He’d be begging Aaron to come back after mere hours. “It’s better if I just…”

“Just what? Don’t do anything you like and waste your life just so that asshole’s happy?”

“I’m not _wasting_ my life…”

Gerard sighed and leaned forward, cupping Frank’s hands in his. When their eyes met, Frank felt like Gerard could see everything. He felt kind of exposed, but somehow in the best way possible, because Gerard’s eyes were fucking beautiful and his hands felt really damn nice on top of his. “Frankie,” he said, and Frank’s insides started thrumming again at the nickname. “I’m a really big fan of privacy. I don’t like interrogating you and trust me, I wouldn’t even be asking this many questions if I weren’t concerned. Mikey’s told me some stuff about Aaron… and I think you know he isn’t good for you, but you just don’t want it to be real.”

“What… What did Mikey say about him?” Frank asked carefully. His brain wasn’t really cooperating with his mouth too well because Gerard still hadn’t moved his hands.

“That he’s ordered you around from the very beginning. He told me you didn’t even like him at first… and that it kinda felt like you only agreed to go out with him because he was gay and like, maybe you just didn’t know that many gay guys?” Gerard said. Frank felt like he should be offended, but he couldn’t be when Gerard was keeping his tone so gentle.

He wasn’t completely wrong, either. He hadn’t really had a thing for Aaron at first, and there surely hadn’t been many butterflies and nervous texts and flirty giggles, but the way Frank had seen it, that was all kind of Gerard’s fault. Because Frank’s crush on him had still been so all-encompassing that Frank couldn’t possibly develop feelings for anyone else. But it wasn’t like Gerard was ever going to ask him out, so Frank had agreed to go on a date with Aaron, and then he’d agreed to have sex with him, because he’d been a fucking teenager who was very tired of his own hand, and everything had kind of just happened from there.

They’d started dating, and Gerard had moved away, so Frank had thrown himself into the relationship to make himself forget about his stupid crush. But even though he’d managed to stop thinking about Gerard at some point, his feelings had returned at once, just as strong as they’d been years ago, and now Frank couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if he hadn’t agreed to go out with Aaron. If he’d ever had a shot with Gerard.

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s true,” he admitted after a moment. “But I do have feelings for him now.”

“Can I be really honest with you?” Gerard asked, as if he hadn’t been brutally honest the entire time.

Still, Frank nodded his head. “Okay.”

“I really don’t think he’s treating you right. I know it’s none of my business, but as your best friend’s brother, I feel like I need to tell you this. Seeing how you just accept that he can order you around and that you’re still defending him really hurts… Like, you’ve always been such a good kid. I’ve always liked you. But all the… the energy you used to have is just gone now. You don’t laugh half as much as you used to. And I’m pretty sure that’s all Aaron’s fault. So in my opinion – and you totally have the right to be mad at me after I say this because it really is none of my business – but in my opinion, you should just dump him. As soon as possible.”

Something about the look in Gerard’s eyes made Frank’s throat feel tight. He realized he’d been squeezing Gerard’s fingers and quickly pulled his hands back, interlacing his fingers in his lap and keeping his eyes on them. Deep down, he knew he’d changed. His mom told him so all the time. Even Aaron had told him that he wasn’t as fun as he used to be, but that he didn’t mind because he didn’t want to date a total punk, anyway. Hearing it from Gerard was different though. “I’m sorry,” he said after a few moments. “It’s… it’s fine, you don’t have to worry about all this shit.”

“And you’re over-apologetic. You rarely make eye contact. It’s like he’s totally broken you.” Frank swallowed and kept quiet, not really sure what to say in response. He knew Gerard wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t that bad. But he wasn’t wrong either. “Why are you even still with him?” Gerard added after a few moments, voice quiet. “Are you scared of what he’ll do if you leave him?”

Frank shook his head. “No. I don’t wanna leave him.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” Frank looked up, searching his brain for the right words. Suddenly, not many reasons came to mind. He loved him, but he had a feeling Gerard would ask him what he loved him for if he said that, and right now he somehow couldn’t put a finger on that either. “We’ve been dating for three years. He means a lot. I like… I like taking care of him.”

“Okay,” Gerard said, nodding his head. “But do you like it so much that you wanna keep doing it for the rest of your life? Like, do you really wanna marry him? Because I think that’s a really bad idea. Again, I’m sorry, but if you marry him, he’ll take control over your life even more. He’ll probably… go through your phone and shit like that.”

“He doesn’t do that anymore,” Frank mumbled.

“But he used to do that?”

Frank nodded meekly. “Yeah. It’s okay, though. He promised not to do it again.”

Gerard looked like he had a whole lot to say about that, but instead, he just sighed. “My point is, he’ll break you, Frankie. Just imagine what it would be like if you had kids with him someday... getting out of there would be so much harder. I don’t want that to happen.”

“Look, I can’t just- He needs me,” Frank said, feeling his head spin. “He wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

“I honestly don’t care about him,” Gerard replied. “I care about you. You can do so much better than him. You’re handsome, you’re sweet, you’re funny. But you’re not happy. You deserve someone else, Frank. You deserve… Hey, are you okay?”

Frank sniffed and quickly wiped his eyes dry. God, what was wrong with him? He'd become such a fucking crybaby. He hid his face in his hands for a moment, feeling his cheeks burn from embarrassment. “Shit, sorry. I’m being a fucking baby. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Gerard said. He put his hand on Frank’s arm, and somehow that sent a new wave of tears to his eyes, making him whimper. He had no idea what he was crying about, but Gerard just kept being sweet and amazing, handing Frank a tissue and scowling at people who were giving them weird looks. “It’s okay, Frankie. You wanna get out of here? Go somewhere more private?”

Frank found himself nodding quickly. He dried his eyes and followed Gerard almost blindly, barely aware of anything but the back of his head as his mind was going crazy fast. It all made so much sense, and maybe Frank had been secretly dying to hear reassuring words like that, but at the same time he really hadn’t expected them or they wouldn’t have brought him to tears like that.

The rain was stronger than before. Frank was glad about it because at least his tears weren’t as noticeable anymore. He ended up in Gerard’s car, feeling his denim jacket cling to his shoulders and his hair curling from the rain, but here, he felt so much better than inside the Starbucks. The rain got heavier as they sat there, loud against the roof of Gerard’s car, and they didn’t really say anything for a minute or two. Slowly, Frank managed to make himself stop crying.

“God, sorry about that. This is so embarrassing,” he mumbled, keeping his gaze forward. People were rushing over the parking lot, eager to get inside as the rain poured down on them, and Frank felt ridiculously lucky Gerard had brought him to the safety of his car.

“It’s my fault for bringing all that shit up without a heads-up. Sorry,” Gerard said, and it sounded like he meant it. For a moment, Frank was stunned by how something wasn’t completely his fault for once. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it was just… I don’t know what happened. It was a little too much I guess.”

“Let’s change the subject. I don’t want you to start sobbing because of me,” Gerard said, half-joking, and Frank chuckled quietly. “So. What do you wanna do? Where do you wanna go? Or do you want me to drive you home?”

“I still got some time,” Frank replied, a little too eager. “Um. I don’t really care what we do. Whatever you wanna do is fine.”

Gerard hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, how about you show me your apartment? I bet it’s super cool. Do you still have those band posters up? Mikey once told me he was jealous of your room because all your walls were just covered in posters and our mom wouldn't let him put that many up.”

Frank laughed at that, shaking his head a little. “Did he really? I never knew. But uh, no… it’s a really fucking boring apartment, honestly. No posters or anything. And it’s very small. And… I’d feel kinda weird taking you there,” he added. “If Aaron finds out-”

“Jesus, what do you expect me to do to you?” Gerard giggled.

Eyes wide, Frank blushed furiously as he realized what he’d said. “Fuck, I- I’m sorry. That’s not-” he stammered, suddenly panicking Gerard wouldn’t wanna hang out with him anymore. He hadn’t even meant it like that. He knew Gerard wouldn’t wanna do anything with him. It was just that it didn’t take Frank fucking someone else in their bed for Aaron to get mad, and he just didn’t want to take any chances, because he usually got home at 5, but what if he came home earlier today? Having to explain who Gerard was and what he was doing in their apartment would be a nightmare. “That’s not what I meant. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. I-”

Mercifully interrupting Frank’s babbling, Gerard patted his thigh. Frank felt himself flush even more. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you. In a friendly, platonic way,” he chuckled. Luckily the raindrops pattering down on the roof of the car drowned out Frank’s sigh when Gerard removed his hand from his leg, feeling like this couldn’t get any more humiliating for him. Seemingly not expecting Frank to answer, Gerard started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, that pretty grin still on his lips.

“So… where are we going?” Frank asked after a moment or two, fastening his seat belt to give himself something to do.

“My place.” He looked at him briefly to check his reaction, smiling again when he found Frank’s surprised face looking back at him. “If that’s okay. I don’t really feel like going to another coffee shop or anything like that and it’s just a five-minute drive away, anyway. You haven’t been there in years, right?”

Frank nodded slowly, feeling his insides churn at the thought of being at the Ways’ house again. “Mikey… Mikey won’t be there, right?”

“I thought you wanted to talk to him?”

“Yeah, but…” Frank squirmed in his seat. “I kinda… I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I’m ready-”

“Just say you’re sorry and that Aaron is a jerk and that you miss his skinny ass.” Gerard chuckled when Frank made an uneasy noise. It sounded so simple when Gerard said it like this. “But no, he won’t be there. He’ll be at work by now. My parents too, by the way. Relax.”

Frank did relax. For a second, anyway, before he realized that he’d be all alone with Gerard, which made him nervous and jittery for a whole other reason. Because meeting him in a busy coffee shop was one thing. Agreeing to come home with him, knowing they’d be alone, however… 

God, Aaron would kill him if he knew what he was up to.


	3. Chapter 3

The walk from the car wasn't a long one at all, but the rain came down on them so mercilessly that Frank's jacket clung to his shoulders wetly by the time they'd made it to the house. Shivering slightly and in desperate need of a warmer environment, Frank sighed in relief when Gerard unlocked the door in record time and ushered him inside.

Suddenly he wasn't that cold anymore. For some reason, the first thing he noticed was how the smell was still exactly the same, overwhelming him with this nostalgia and a fuckload of memories like a tsunami. Frank felt like he was fourteen again and had just witnessed another stupid fight between his parents - his dad forgetting their anniversary, his mom being too paranoid, Frank's aunt trying to break them up, or whatever else they had come up with that day. He’d always come here when he couldn’t take it anymore. He remembered telling Mikey he wished they just got a divorce already because he was sick of hearing them yell at each other every other day, and then Mikey had told him to just move in with them until his parents had figured shit out because Donna loved him anyway, and if Frank’s parents were being idiots, Frank didn’t have to live with them. And then they’d spent the next hour or so fantasizing about how cool it would be if Frank moved in, and how they could share all their games and CD’s (kind of like they were doing already, but better, because they’d be _brothers_ ), and how they could always ignore their homework together and watch awesome movies until three in the morning. By the time Donna had called them downstairs for dinner, Frank hadn’t even been upset anymore.

He was sad it wasn’t like that anymore. He missed Mikey so much. For the first time ever, he was irritated with Aaron for taking him away from him.

“You okay?”

Gerard was standing closer to him than he’d expected. When Frank turned around, he was watching him, looking a little concerned. Frank quickly nodded his head and smiled at him. “Yeah, sorry. I just-”

Then the whole world stopped for a second. Suddenly Gerard was even closer than before, so close Frank felt like he could hear his heart thrumming in his chest, and before he knew what was going on, Gerard was kissing him. It was so short and unexpected Frank didn’t even get the chance to close his eyes, and by the time his brain had registered what had just happened, Gerard had already pulled back a few inches. Still, his face was _right there_ , and Frank could kind of just stare at him, mouth gaping and eyes rushing from one eye to the other and down to his lips, unable to believe this was really happening.

When Gerard kissed him again, Frank was ready for it. He wrapped his arms around him, suddenly afraid he’d just pull back again and this was all just a misunderstanding, but then Gerard’s hand was in his hair and his tongue was in his mouth and it was just like he’d pictured it over and over again but somehow even better. Gerard was all around him, all he could think about, all he wanted to think about, and he tightened his grip in his damp jacket and pulled him closer, kissed him deeper, breathing in his scent like his life depended on it.

Frank didn’t remember moving his legs, but suddenly there was a wall against his back, knocking the air out of him. He gasped for breath, holding onto Gerard’s arms desperately as he started kissing his neck instead, and fuck, Frank was about to burst his jeans he was so hard. Blindly, he pulled Gerard up again, dying to press their lips together once more, and moaned when he felt his erection dig into his thigh. There was no way this wasn’t just the best dream he’d ever had. Gerard cursed and cupped the back of Frank’s neck, tilting his head up a little so he could kiss him deeper, making Frank’s pulse race even faster. He was sure he was about to faint when Gerard started rutting against him. He felt Gerard’s breathy moans more than he could hear them and swallowed them right down, moving his hips against Gerard’s and almost collapsing because holy shit, that was so fucking good.

One of Gerard’s hands trailed lower, down his chest and toward his crotch, and Frank almost went crazy when he just paused there, right at the waistband of his pants. “Gee, please,” he whimpered against his lips, bucking up in need for more friction. That seemed all Gerard had been waiting for because he finally popped the button open and slid the zipper down, and Frank was fucking whining with how badly he wanted him to touch him. He could feel himself leaking, pulsing slightly, and still, Gerard wouldn’t fucking wrap his hand around him.

“We should go downstairs,” he said, barely loud enough for Frank to hear over his own shaky breaths. “Just in case someone does come home. Okay?”

Frank had to take a deep breath and swallow before he could reply. “Okay,” he said hoarsely. Gerard pressed one last kiss to his lips before peeling himself off Frank, hair disheveled and face pink and breathless, and god, Frank had never seen anything more attractive in his entire life.

The way to Gerard’s room in the basement had never felt longer. Frank started taking in his surroundings again as he followed Gerard down the stairs, and even though he was still hard and so damn eager for what they were about to do, ignoring the guilt gnawing at him was getting harder with every step he took. He wanted Gerard. He’d wanted him for years, and he still hadn’t caught up with what was happening, and he knew this would all just feel like an absurd dream when he woke up in the morning because it was too fucking incredible for his numb brain to comprehend - but it was _wrong_. He was engaged. He felt ashamed realizing Aaron hadn’t crossed his mind even once since Gerard had surprised him with that kiss, but now he was thinking about him, and it was impossible to stop. He might be an asshole, and yes, he had cheated on him before, but if Frank did this now, he wasn’t any better than him. He knew how it felt, how much it hurt. How it always broke his heart when Aaron cheated on him. He couldn’t do this to him.

“Gerard…”

The room still looked exactly like Frank remembered it. The same stupid action figures were still on his desk, in a way that made it obvious they’d been carefully arranged; comic books lay scattered on about every surface, including the floor; the bed still was in the exact same spot in the corner, messy as ever. Even the bedding was the same. Frank knew Donna had washed it countless times since the last time he’d seen it, but it kind of felt like he’d traveled back in time.

“Please don’t tell me you changed your mind,” he said, smiling slightly.

Frank gulped and looked at his shoes on Gerard's carpet. For a moment, he allowed himself to think about how he hoped he hadn't left dirty footprints on Donna's floor in order to prolong his answer. “I just… I can’t. I’m so fucking sorry. Aaron, he… I can’t do this to him. I’m sorry, Gerard.”

Still, he didn’t protest when Gerard got closer again. He wanted him to. It hurt him to be turning him down but… it was his only choice, wasn’t it? “You can’t do this?” Gerard asked, closing the door behind Frank, and Frank silently cursed as his cock gave another twitch, reminding him of how hard he was.

“I really can’t,” he said shakily. He didn’t sound very convincing.

His breath hitched when Gerard sunk to his knees in front of him without another word, and Frank could’ve cried it was so frustrating. This was _Gerard_ , the man he’d worshipped for basically half his life, right there, ready to do things with him he’d dreamed about for years and years, and he was seriously about to tell him no? “Gee…” he whimpered, not sure what he wanted him to do.

Gerard’s eyes trailed from his face down to his cock, only covered by his underwear, and Frank bit down on his lip. “You sure?”

Frank groaned. This was so fucking unfair. “Gee, please,” he sighed. He definitely wasn’t asking him to stop. Stopping was the last thing he wanted.

“Please what, Frankie?” he murmured. Frank jolted when he put a hand on his thigh, just stroking him gently and looking up at him, and Frank knew there was no way he could make himself tell Gerard to stop touching him. He wanted this so bad. He felt like an asshole, but Gerard’s hand against his clothed thigh was oddly reassuring, like it would somehow all be okay. “Come on, you gotta tell me. I don't wanna do anything you’ll regret later.”

Frank knew he would regret this no matter what, but he forced himself not to worry about that anymore. He’d feel guilty later, even if he stopped right now, ran home and bombarded Aaron with apologies as soon as he came back from work. The thing was, he didn’t care right now. Gerard looked way too good like this. It was easy to ignore he was being the worst fiancé anyone had ever had. “Touch me,” he managed to whimper eventually, blushing deeply. “Please, I-”

He cut himself off with a moan when Gerard started palming him through his underwear, finally giving him what he’d been dying to feel, and Frank completely lost his ability to speak. For a few moments, all he could do was gasp for breath as Gerard made his whole body tingle with pleasure with that one hand alone, and when Frank opened his eyes and looked down at Gerard, he was smiling up at him, pupils dark and wanton. “God, so pretty,” he said, more to himself than Frank, and before Frank could blush and babble out his thanks, Gerard pulled his underwear down with his free hand and wrapped the other one around him. Frank’s mind went completely blank as his hips bucked of their own accord. He let out a moan that made his cheeks flush even darker, all high-pitched and squeaky, and before he could apologize, Gerard started moving his hand and Frank couldn’t help the noises falling from his lips. This was so fucking good. Gerard’s fingers were so tight, moving up and down his shaft slowly and perfectly, and when he gently rubbed his thumb over Frank’s tip, Frank stuffed his fist in his mouth to muffle a shout.

“Let me hear you,” Gerard said softly. “Nobody else is here. You sound so pretty, Frankie, please don’t hold back.”

Frank whined but nodded, slowly moving his hand away. He clenched his fists by his side, unsure of what to do with his hands. His knees felt weak as he looked at Gerard again, and he had to press his eyes shut after a moment. There was no way he’d last more than thirty seconds if he kept looking at Gerard.

“Is this okay?” Gerard asked. He took one of Frank’s hands in his and kissed his fingers, making him relax his muscles. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Yes, no, I-” Frank gasped, letting out a moan when Gerard flicked his wrist. “Please don’t stop,” he choked out after a second. “So okay. So fucking good. Please don’t stop.”

Gerard chuckled and did the thing with his wrist again, making Frank keen in the back of his throat and his hips snap forward. “So sensitive,” he mumbled. Frank blushed and apologized, but Gerard just kissed the skin right next to his dick, shutting him up effectively. “Doesn’t he touch you like this?”

“Sometimes,” Frank said. Gerard’s thumb teased over his slit once more, gathering pre-cum, and Frank forgot to be embarrassed.

“Sometimes,” Gerard repeated slowly, never stopping his hand. “When was the last time he sucked you off?”

“I- I don’t know. A while ago.” Suddenly speaking was even harder because now that Gerard had mentioned blowjobs, that was all Frank could think about. He was _right there_ , and Frank guessed he’d been kind of building up to sucking him off, getting down on his knees and all, but somehow, he’d been so lost in what his skillful hand was doing to him that he hadn’t considered he might be planning on giving Frank even _more_. It had been ages since his last blowjob. Even though he was too ashamed to tell Gerard so, he remembered it very well. Aaron had sucked him on his birthday, kind of as a present, but Frank had had to bribe and basically beg him first. So it hadn’t been the best experience ever, with Aaron constantly asking him if he was close and telling him his jaw was aching too much… Still, it had been a blowjob, so Frank wasn’t complaining. And it was totally okay that Aaron hadn’t sucked him off once during the five months that had passed since then because apparently he didn’t enjoy giving head anymore.

He’d been so lost in his thoughts that the sudden wetness on his tip made him curse loudly. Trembling and with his lip trapped between his teeth, he glanced down his nose to look at Gerard, who grinned at him and licked over his head once more, tongue digging into the slit. Frank stopped breathing as he watched Gerard part his lips and take him into his mouth, enveloping him in tight, delicious heat that made Frank’s eyes roll back and his hands claw at Gerard’s hair, needing something to hold onto. His legs almost gave out when Gerard sank down on him in one go. He could feel his tongue on his underside, could feel his fucking tip nudge the back of Gerard’s throat, felt him try and relax his muscles around him so he wouldn’t gag. Somehow he’d forgotten just _how_ good this felt.

Then Gerard pulled back, heaving in some air, before he went straight back to work. Frank was sure the grip in his hair was way too fucking tight but he couldn’t loosen it for the life of him when Gerard started bobbing his head. He did this amazing thing with his tongue on Frank’s tip that had him feeling like he was going to cum in about two seconds, and his hands were on Frank’s hips, anchoring him. Frank was sure he would be on the floor by now if it weren’t for Gerard’s hands holding him in place.

Building a rhythm, Gerard slowly pushed him closer to the edge. Frank really didn’t want to cum yet because this was about the best he’d ever felt, but thinking about it, he’d lasted pretty damn long already, considering the circumstances. His knees buckled when Gerard circled his tip with his tongue a few times, making Frank moan and hold onto his hair yet a little tighter. He could already feel his orgasm thrumming up through him, way more intense than anything he’d felt in a pretty damn long time, and he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“I’m close,” he managed to choke out, cursing when Gerard somehow doubled his efforts. Frank’s moans could probably be heard in the entire fucking house. “Fuck, don’t stop, please, I’m-”

Gerard didn’t. Frank held his breath as he shot over the edge, feeling himself spill inside Gerard’s mouth with every pulse as white exploded behind his lids. His brain was a fucking mess, and when he finally registered he was still clinging to him, he quickly let go of his hair in case he wanted to pull off. But even without Frank’s hands on the back of his head, Gerard stayed right where it was, swallowing around him and sucking him dry until Frank felt like he had nothing left to give. He felt Gerard chuckle, then one last, gentle kiss on his stomach, and then it was just his own fast breathing and his ears ringing.

He forced his heavy lids open to look at Gerard a few moments later, wanting to do _something_ for him in return, but before he’d fully opened his eyes, Gerard was all over him already. He pushed Frank back carefully and Frank just let him, feeling boneless and drained in the best way possible, and somehow found himself lying on Gerard’s bed with Gerard between his legs and their tongues entangled.

“Fuck, Frankie, you’re so hot. You’re so fucking hot,” Gerard was breathing into his mouth, barely giving Frank a chance to catch his breath. He shivered realizing that the unfamiliar taste in his mouth was his own fucking cum, and he instinctively pulled Gerard even closer, wrapping his legs around him. He didn’t know what Gerard’s plan was, but he prayed he’d fuck him. He was so fucking ready for it.

It was kind of a challenge to get a hand on Gerard’s cock in the position they were in, but Frank managed after a few seconds. He found Gerard’s jeans were already undone so he quickly pushed his underwear down and started jerking him off, desperately wanting to thank him for how fucking good he’d just made him feel. Gerard moaned deep in his throat, cursing into Frank’s mouth and kissing him so hard and messily their teeth clinked together. “Fuck, keep going.”

Frank tightened his hand just a little and jerked him faster. More moans spilled from Gerard’s lips as he began to tremble above him, and before Frank could even think about stopping and asking him to fuck him instead, the first spurt hit his stomach. Gerard gasped as his cock throbbed in Frank’s hand and he shook harder, struggling to hold himself up, and Frank kept pumping him until he was oversensitive.

He collapsed on top of him a few moments later, still panting and not giving a single shit he was lying in his own cum. None of them said anything for a couple of minutes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t- do much for you,” Frank managed eventually. Now that they’d both calmed down a bit, he felt worse for letting Gerard suck him off and only giving him a handjob in return by the second. He blushed when Gerard lifted his head and gave him a confused look. “You know. I wish I could’ve… sucked you too. I’m sorry I just jerked you off.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Gerard said, chuckling when Frank frowned at him. He gave him a quick kiss and rolled over so he was lying on his side. “I didn’t suck you off hoping you’d suck me. You didn’t have to do anything in return. I mean, I’m glad you did, but like. Wait. What are you sorry for again? My brain hasn’t really recovered from the mind-blowing orgasm you just gave me.”

Frank couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m sorry for not sucking you off. Because… well, you did all the work and I didn’t do much. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time.”

“You don’t have to, Frank,” Gerard replied, more serious now. “I don’t know how you usually do this but sucked I you off because I _wanted_ to. Because you’re really fucking cute and I wanted you to feel good. Okay? Not because I was hoping to get anything in return.”

“But…” Frank began, wanting to protest how it was totally unfair Gerard had given him the best orgasm of his fucking life and Frank had just jerked him off for a few minutes, but then Gerard kissed him again and his thoughts melted away. Gerard was such a good kisser. Now he finally had a minute to really appreciate how he moved his lips, how gently his tongue nudged his bottom lip before he slid it in Frank’s mouth, asking for permission. It was so fucking perfect. Or it would be - if it weren’t for the fact that Frank had a fucking fiancé. Frank sighed and pushed the thought away.

“So. _Next time_ , huh?”

Frank’s brain still felt pretty scrambled, so it took him a moment to realize he’d said that. He blushed for the umpteenth time that day, making Gerard grin. “Sorry,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Fuck, I didn’t… I know this doesn’t mean-”

Gerard’s lips were pressed against his once again, and Frank decided that this was his new favorite way to be shut up. “Next time sounds damn good to me. I didn’t just make you cheat on that asshole to suck you off once and then send you right back to him, you know?”

He knew he hadn’t meant it in a bad way, but something about hearing Gerard say that he’d _cheated_ on Aaron made Frank come back to his senses. He’d cheated on his fiancé. On the man he wanted to marry. Fuck. Fuck, he’d never forgive him for this. But Frank had to tell him, today, he had to try and fix this-

“Hey, don’t panic. Frankie, it’s okay, don’t panic,” Gerard said slowly, taking his hand. Frank forced himself to take a few deep breaths, but his heart was still going a hundred miles an hour. He was a cheater. He’d never be able to make this up to Aaron… “Frankie, hey. Look at me. Please calm down, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad.”

“I cheated on him,” Frank whispered. He looked at Gerard for a second before pressing his eyes shut again. “Oh, god. I cheated on him. Fuck, Gerard, I gotta… I gotta go. I gotta tell him. I gotta-”

“Please stay.” Gerard was still stroking his hand with his thumb but not holding him down at all, and somehow, that made Frank relax a little. Slowly Gerard lifted his other hand to his face and cupped his cheek. “It’s okay, Frank. I know you’re a good person and you wouldn’t cheat on anyone if you didn’t… if you didn’t _have_ to, you know? This isn’t something you’d have done if you’d thought there was any way you could have a future with Aaron. You’re not happy. And by taking this step, you did something for yourself, Frankie. You can’t stay with him just because _he_ wants you to.”

“I’m an asshole,” Frank said, voice shaking. Something about Gerard’s words calmed him down, but they didn’t change the fact that he’d cheated on his fucking fiancé.

Gerard sighed. “I’m sorry I kissed you,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “Not because I regret it or anything. I don’t. I just… I should’ve asked you. I know you wouldn’t have agreed to this if you’d been given the chance to think about it first. So if you wanna be mad at someone, be mad at me, okay? Not yourself. This isn’t your fault.”

“I’m not mad at you. I wanted you to kiss me…” For fucking years, Frank thought, letting out a small sigh. Maybe Gerard was right. He wouldn’t have done this if he were truly happy with Aaron, right? And he surely wouldn’t have done this with anyone else. This was _Gerard_ he was lying in bed with right now. His seventeen-year-old self would be freaking the fuck out. Not that he wasn’t freaking out right now.

Gerard was so sweet, even now. After sex, Aaron was usually kind of dismissive. He didn’t care if Frank wanted to cuddle or talk. He did what he wanted to do. And here Gerard was, making sure he was alright, making him feel like he was fucking _worth_ something. Aaron hadn’t made him feel like this in such a long time.

“I’m still sorry. I guess I kinda… couldn’t help myself,” Gerard said. Frank’s heart sped up even more. He would have a fucking heart attack if Gerard kept this up. “But my point is… please don’t feel guilty. You deserved all this. And so much more, I’m not saying I’m the best catch or anything. But _Aaron_ doesn’t deserve you. Alright?”

Frank hesitated. Everything was a mess right now, but Gerard’s words made sense. Somehow. They made him feel better. And valuable. He definitely wouldn’t have done this if Aaron had treated him better.

He still felt guilty, and he was sure that feeling wouldn’t go away for a long time… but right now, with Gerard right here, he was okay. “Alright,” he said eventually.

Gerard smiled at him, and for a moment, it looked like he wanted to lean in for another kiss. He stopped himself though and merely tucked a strand of hair behind Frank’s ear, waiting for Frank to make the first step. “Good,” he said quietly. Frank interlaced their fingers and kissed him.


	4. Chapter 4

“And remember when you had your Houdini phase?” Frank hid his giggles behind his coke when Gerard groaned around his forkful of pasta, eyes twinkling when he looked back at him.

“Please don’t,” Gerard whined, but Frank was just getting started.

“Houdini was all you _ever_ talked about. For like, three weeks straight,” he said, grinning wider when Gerard grimaced. “Your mom calls us down for dinner – You’re already there, telling her Houdini fun facts. Mikey and I have this classmate over for a school project – You convince us to watch these super old videos of him and won’t shut about why every single trick is the best one we’ll ever see. Your-”

“I will literally do whatever you want if you don’t mention that ever again,” Gerard interrupted him, expression half amused, half imploring. He reached for Frank’s hand across the table and squeezed it. “Just please stop. I don’t know why you’re even having lunch with me now. I was such an idiot, holy shit. I should have like, zero friends.”

Frank laughed at that, looking down at where their fingers were interlaced for a moment. “You weren’t,” he then said, smiling at him. “Seriously. I’m just fucking with you, Houdini _is_ awesome. You were pretty much the coolest person I knew. You still are. Because you were so unique and you didn’t care what other people thought.”

“Clearly, or I wouldn’t have tortured everyone with those Houdini fun facts.”

“Honestly, they were kinda fun,” Frank giggled, making Gerard groan again. Being with him was so easy. Frank hadn’t felt so free and like he didn’t need to worry about a single thing in the entire fucking world in way too long. But with Gerard, things were different. He knew him so well, could make him laugh so easily. He laughed about Frank’s jokes. Around Aaron, Frank always had to be very careful with his words. Aaron didn’t like being made fun of, so if Frank made a joke he didn’t like, even if Frank had just wanted to tease him, he got mad. Aaron always got mad. Last night he’d gotten mad because Frank had gone to bed early, pretending to have a headache. This morning he’d gotten mad because Frank had wanted to sleep in instead of making him breakfast. Frank still felt like he was the bigger asshole in their relationship but Gerard was making it so easy to ignore that.

He had to break up with him. On one hand, he felt completely out of his mind for even thinking about that because Aaron was all he’d had for months and months, and until only a few days ago, he’d wanted to marry him. Now he knew he wasn’t ready to get married. There was so much he wanted to do before he settled down, and while he knew getting married didn’t usually mean his life was pretty much over, getting married to _Aaron_ certainly would make it feel like that. Gerard was right.

 _Gerard_. Frank still couldn’t believe what was happening to him. Part of him was convinced that none of this was real, that he was trapped in some sort of wonderful dream that Aaron would force him out of sooner or later, but… Gerard’s hand on top of his certainly felt real. And his lips felt real against Frank’s. And on his neck. And around his dick.

Frank hadn’t stopped thinking about what had happened the day before for so much as a second but he still couldn’t wrap his head around how lucky he was. He’d never thought this would actually happen. Just a few years ago, he’d lain awake night after night, wondering whether he should tell Gerard about his feelings, whether he should tell Mikey, whether he should just move the fuck on, without ever really getting anywhere. And now he and Gerard were- what? Not really together, but not really not together either. Frank hadn’t expected Gerard to want him, especially not for anything else than a brief fling, but Gerard _cared_ so much. Gerard had called him early today, just wanting to know how he was and how he’d slept, and then he’d asked him to meet him for lunch. And when they’d kissed in front of the diner earlier, it hadn’t even been weird. No awkward silence, no avoiding eye contact. It was as though everything was how it was supposed to be.

“By the way, I gave Mikey your number. He’ll probably call you soon,” Gerard said then, making Frank look up. He pulled his hand back so he could continue eating.

“He really wants to talk to me again?”

Gerard shrugged. “Sure. I talked to him earlier and he sounded really pumped about it.”

“Thank you,” Frank said. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself. He hadn’t seen Mikey in so fucking long… and if it weren’t for Gerard, that probably wouldn’t have changed anytime soon. Then another thought crossed his mind and he blushed. “You didn’t… uh, tell him about what happened, right?”

“Maybe?” Gerard gave him a grin that told Frank Mikey definitely knew. “I wouldn’t have told him if he hadn’t asked, and I didn’t give him any details. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d mind…” 

Frank quickly shook his head when Gerard’s grin turned into a guilty expression. “I don’t mind,” he said reassuringly. “I just- I don’t want him to feel weird. Like, we don’t talk for years, and then you and I… you know.”

“He doesn’t think it’s weird. Trust me.”

“How can you be so sure?” Frank asked, frowning when Gerard gave him a furtive smile and changed the subject. Frank decided to stop worrying about it after a few moments. Maybe he hadn’t been very good at hiding his crush. And Mikey out of all people must have realized he’d always had this fascination with his brother. Yesterday Gerard had kissed Frank because he _couldn’t help himself_. Like Frank wasn’t the only one who’d been wanting this for a while. Frank swallowed.

Gerard paid for both of their meals. He’d asked him out for lunch, so of course he was going to pay, he assured him with a chuckle when Frank wouldn’t let him pay again. He’d already bought him that cookie and coffee the day before, after all.

But Gerard wouldn’t budge, so Frank surrendered eventually, silently promising himself he wouldn’t let him pay the next time they went out. Frank really hoped they’d do this more often.

“So,” Gerard said once they were seated in his car, full and happy. “Where to?”

“Maybe… your place?” Frank suggested. He kind of really wanted to repeat what they’d done the day before.

Gerard nodded approvingly, giving Frank a smirk. “My place.” He started chuckling when Frank blushed and broke out in a grin. Gerard leaned over to kiss his cheek before he started the car.

This time, Frank didn’t have time to relish in any memories when he entered the Ways’ house. Gerard pulled him downstairs again, then urgently tugged Frank’s clothes off, and before he knew it, he was sandwiched between Gerard’s messy sheets and Gerard’s warm body in just his boxers, inhaling his scent and moaning his name and feeling like he was the luckiest fucker in the entire world.

Gerard was _everywhere_. His kisses left Frank breathless and light-headed, so when he eventually turned his head the tiniest bit to gulp in some air, Gerard’s lips were on his neck, somehow making him melt into the mattress even further. Frank was hard as a fucking rock. He couldn’t stop roaming his hands over Gerard’s body, needing to touch him, to feel him.

Gerard’s mouth traveled lower bit by bit, until he was right over Frank’s nipple. Frank’s hips shot up when he bit down on the sensitive skin, just lightly, just enough to make him moan and tighten his grip on Gerard’s shoulders. Gerard chuckled before he moved on to give Frank’s other nipple the same treatment, and Frank had always been responsive during sex, but not like _this_. He felt like he was high or drunk or some shit when Gerard’s teeth pulled on his nipple in just the right way, pressing down just enough to force more noises out of Frank’s screaming lungs.

“I want you to fuck me.” The words left his mouth before he could register them, but suddenly he couldn’t stop chanting them over and over, because fuck yes, he wanted Gerard’s cock so, so bad. “Fuck me, come on, please, Gee-”

Gerard moaned at that, nodding against Frank’s skin, and Frank whimpered. Fingers gripping tighter, he tried pushing Gerard down or pulling him back up, he didn’t even know, just wanting him to do _something_ , but Gerard took his sweet time kissing Frank’s chest and his stomach, tasting every inch of his skin. Frank keened and lifted his hips when he felt Gerard’s chin graze the waistband of his boxers, so incredibly close to Frank’s leaking dick, and he fortunately got the message. Frank helped him get the last piece of clothing he was wearing out of the way and all but yelped when Gerard wrapped a hand around him, tight and warm and perfect. He thrust into his fist, unable to hold back, and Gerard pressed more kisses to his belly, his thighs, his hips. It was too much and not enough at the same time. For a few minutes, Frank was completely lost in all the sensations on his skin, unable to hear anything but his own rapid heartbeat and his breathy moans. Then he felt Gerard’s tongue on the tip of his cock and froze.

“Wait,” he panted out, sitting up a little. Gerard looked overwhelmingly attractive between his thighs. Cheeks flushed, hair messy, lips wet. Eyes wanton and focused on Frank, and for a second, Frank couldn’t remember what he’d wanted to say.

“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked. He loosened the grip on Frank’s cock a little and Frank wanted to cry but forced himself to keep speaking.

“I- You- Uh,“ he stumbled, and okay, clearly he wouldn’t be able to form an actual coherent sentence if he kept looking at Gerard. He closed his eyes and tried again. “You can’t suck me off again. I- I mean, you can, but I said I’d suck you off, I promised, remember? I said-”

Slowly Gerard started pumping him again, forcing Frank to lie back down and take a few deep breaths. “I can’t wait for you to suck me off, baby,” he said quietly, and Frank whimpered, “But right now, I just wanna make you feel good, okay? You’re so fucking hot. Let me make you feel real good.”

Frank had to swallow down his moans and force his tongue to move the way he wanted to all over again. “O- Okay,” he gasped out. “But-“

“Besides,” Gerard said, cutting Frank off with a flick of his wrist. “I wasn’t gonna suck you off.”

Even though that was what Frank had wanted – given that he’d get to suck Gerard instead, of course – Gerard’s words made Frank’s stomach clench and his cock twitch desperately because he kind of really wanted Gerard to keep going. “No?” he managed to ask instead of begging him not to stop, whimpering when Gerard’s tongue circled his tip once, teasing, before trailing down his shaft.

“No,” Gerard repeated with a smirk. “Can you turn around for me, Frankie?”

Every muscle inside of Frank wanted to comply as soon as the question sunk in, but it took him a moment to actually get his body to move. Gerard’s mouth was right back on him when he landed on his stomach, cock pressing into the warm sheets, cheek against a soft pillow. Every small kiss up his spine made him shiver as Gerard draped himself over him, sometimes nipping his skin, sometimes just licking, and for a moment Frank was worried about him leaving any marks, but then he decided he didn’t give a single fuck about what Aaron thought anymore.

“Didn’t know you had a tattoo,” Gerard mumbled. Frank could feel him smirk against his shoulder. “It’s awesome.”

“Thank you.” Aaron didn’t think it was awesome. He’d looked like he would’ve ripped it right off Frank’s body if he could when he’d come home with the Jack O’ Lantern on his back a few months ago, wiping Frank’s excitement right off his face when he told him it was _badly done_ and _the stupidest decision he’d ever made_. If it weren’t for him, Frank would have so much more ink. He smiled thinking about how he could do whatever he wanted now.

Gerard planted a brief kiss on Frank’s lips, making Frank crane his neck in search for more, but his mouth was busy kissing down his body only a moment later. Frank bit down on his bottom lip and spread his legs a little wider. He had a pretty good idea of where this was going and if he was right, he was convinced he wouldn’t be able to handle it without cumming all over Gerard’s sheets. Aaron hadn’t eaten him out in so fucking long.

As if he’d sensed Frank was thinking about his ex-fiancé again, Gerard chose that exact moment to spread Frank’s cheeks and lick a wet stripe down his crack, efficiently ridding Frank’s mind of any thoughts. He clenched his jaw when Gerard didn’t give him a moment to catch his breath and started teasing his entrance with precise, delicious movements of his tongue, circling it without dipping inside just yet. “ _Gerard_ ,” Frank whined, pressing against him, so damn eager for more, and when Gerard finally pushed his tongue into him a few moments later, Frank was very fucking glad he had a pillow to muffle his moans in.

“Gee. Gee, please,” Frank choked out, barely able to breathe with Gerard’s tongue in his ass. Pleasure was making his entire body tingle and his cock leak even more precum and he was so, so ready for more. “Please fuck me. I can’t- I need…”

He almost moaned in relief when Gerard really pulled back, planting one last kiss on Frank’s ass cheek before he shifted on his knees. Frank watched him with bated breath as he reached for the nightstand to get the lube out of it. Part of him wanted him to just lube himself up and push in – he was relaxed and fucking desperate for his cock – and he cursed when he felt Gerard’s finger slipping into him instead, slow and careful. “Please just fuck me,” he whimpered, hips moving restlessly. He wasn’t sure why he was in such a hurry because deep down he knew he should be relishing this moment, enjoying it, because he’d been dreaming about this for years, but somehow he couldn’t fucking pull himself together. Maybe _because_ he’d been imagining this for years. He couldn’t fucking wait any longer. 

“I will, Frankie,” Gerard replied, pushing a second finger in and making Frank clench his fists in the sheets as he curled them, looking for Frank’s spot. “You have no idea how bad I wanna fuck you. But I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You’re not- you’re not gonna hurt me. _Please_ ,” Frank whined. “Please, Gee, just-”

He cut himself off with a loud, needy moan when Gerard nudged his prostate. Gerard chuckled as he kept his fingers right there, making Frank tremble. “You were saying?”

Frank gasped out a few syllables that probably didn’t make much sense, then gave up altogether, surrendering to the pleasure coursing through him. Gerard’s tongue was at his rim again, teasing him where he was stretched around his fingers, dipping in between them ever so slightly, before Gerard pulled back and kissed Frank’s thigh instead. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long,” he said while fucking Frank on his fingers, barely loud enough for Frank to catch. “I wanna take my time, okay? I wanna make you fall apart completely.”

“Me too.” Frank pushed his hips back, grunting when Gerard hit his prostate just right once more. He couldn’t even dwell on what Gerard had just said right then, couldn’t even think about what it meant, and he knew this was an unconventional moment for a love confession, but he really didn’t care. His head was spinning as he forced more words out of his mouth. “I’ve wanted this so bad, Gee, for so long. Don’t make me wait any longer. Fuck me.”

Gerard groaned, biting down on Frank’s thigh lightly. Frank babbled out more pleas until Gerard pulled his fingers out, and Frank could’ve fucking cried he was so eager for what they were about to do. He turned around shakily and spread his legs again when he was on his back. “Wanna look at you,” he mumbled, earning an approving hum from Gerard. “Please, Gee, I need-”

Their lips collided in a heated kiss that had Frank’s head reeling and more needy moans escaping his throat as he clawed at Gerard’s shoulders and his hair. He’d never wanted anything more in his entire life. “Fuck, you-”

“I got you, Frankie,” Gerard said calmingly, but when he pulled back to roll a condom down his erection, Frank could see he was shaking too. He caught a glimpse of his cock – just as hard as his own, pink at the tip – before he wrapped his legs around his middle and Gerard positioned himself at his opening. “Ready?”

Frank nodded his head quickly. “Yeah, _yes_ , please, just-”

He hissed as Gerard started pushing in. Frank had to squeeze his eyes shut when he felt his muscles give in and Gerard’s tip slid into him, stretching him so fucking wide, and for a second, it was on the brink of too much. Then Gerard was kissing him softly, making him relax with his tongue, and Frank started breathing again. “Fuck. Fuck, you’re _big_.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Gerard asked, breathing heavily. Frank could tell he was forcing himself to keep still, how he was trembling from the effort, and okay, that was about the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

“Fuck no,” he said. A smirk tugged at his lips when Gerard sighed in relief. “Keep going.”

Carefully, Gerard pushed more of himself into Frank, making sure he wasn’t in too much pain every few inches. When he bottomed out, Frank felt like he was filled to the brim, stretched widely and perfectly around Gerard. For a moment, they stayed like this, breathing each other in. Then Gerard kissed Frank again, even hungrier than before. Frank rolled his hips up, moaning into his mouth, and finally, Gerard started to fuck him.

He started out gentle, but when Frank kept encouraging him and begging him to go faster, Gerard picked up a rhythm that had Frank’s insides churning and his moans filling the entire room. Every thrust made stars explode behind Frank’s eyelids. He was fucking him hard, rougher than Aaron usually did, but somehow, Frank still felt cared for, not just used. Praises and curses spilled from Gerard’s lips whenever he stopped kissing Frank for a moment or two to take a deep breath; he was holding Frank’s hand the whole time, so tightly, and whenever their eyes met, Gerard looked at him with this admiration and astonishment, like _he_ was the lucky one. 

Frank’s heart was racing when Gerard pulled back. A needy sound escaped the back of his throat feeling him slip out of him, leaving him weirdly empty, but he quickly shut up realizing what Gerard had planned. He threw his legs over his shoulders and pushed right back in, somehow deeper than before, making Frank’s jaw drop and his hand fly up to cover his mouth. His teeth dug into the skin of his hand when Gerard brushed against his prostate, causing his whole body to shake and his cock to twitch. “Right there?”

“Yeah, fuck, I-”

The next thrust made Frank’s whole body jolt again and he clamped his mouth shut. His balls felt tight and the tip of his cock was wet, and when Gerard kept hitting his prostate over and over, it felt like he could cum just from this. Almost. He just needed that tiny bit more, just a loose hand around his cock, a few lazy tugs, and he would be cumming all over himself.

Just when he was about to reach down to get himself off, Gerard’s rhythm grew even faster. “Fuck, Frankie, you feel so fucking good. I’m gonna-” Frank looked up at him to find him panting for air, eyes shut tightly and mouth open as he reached his orgasm. He moaned with Gerard as he tripped over the edge, gasping Frank’s name and trembling as he pushed into Frank a few more times. Frank could feel him throbbing inside of him. He was _desperate_ to touch himself now.

His hole clenched around nothing when Gerard pulled out, hips bucking up into his hand as he gave himself hurried strokes, eager to finish. Then something was at his entrance once more, pushing into him with barely any resistance, and Frank realized Gerard was fingering him. Before he could do anything but moan and press back against him, Gerard’s hand was on top of his and carefully pushed his away, and while Frank was keening and digging his nails into his thighs, Gerard actually bent down to take him into his mouth, circling his tip with his perfect lips and using his tongue in a way that had Frank forget his own fucking name for a second.

Still, he fought for breath, needing to tell Gerard he didn’t need to do that. He’d already sucked him off just yesterday, he’d rimmed him, he’d fucked him so good - he couldn’t possibly do even more for him. “Gee, you don’t have to- I mean-” He winced when Gerard pulled off and crooked his fingers just right, forcing Frank to throw his head back, and his toes curled in pleasure.

“He really didn’t treat you right, huh?” he mumbled, and before Frank could decide whether he should defend Aaron or just agree, Gerard’s mouth was on his cock again, and he was moving his fingers just right, and Frank barely had a second to hiss out a warning before he was cumming his fucking brains out.

He was still panting by the time he opened his eyes again, feeling completely worn out. Gerard came to lie down by his side and wrapped his arm around him, holding him close as Frank’s pulse raced through his body. Then Gerard pulled him in for a kiss that was so tender Frank felt himself calm down a little, and when they parted, he started smiling from ear to ear.

Frank had no idea how long they stayed like that. He must’ve drifted off at some point, and when he blinked his eyes open and lifted his head, Gerard looked back at him with a sleepy smile. Frank blushed and leaned in for a kiss. Gerard was too fucking handsome not to.

“What time is it?” he mumbled groggily, sitting up a little. He spotted his pants on the floor by the door but was too lazy to actually get up to get his phone out of the pocket and check the time.

“Who the fuck cares?” Gerard asked. Frank giggled when he pulled him back down and kissed him again, longer this time, letting his tongue explore Frank’s mouth a little. “You look so fucking pretty, Frank. I kinda wanna draw you.”

Frank wrinkled his nose and smiled at him. He knew he must look messy as fuck. He always did after naps, and the fact that he could still feel lube on his skin and that he had the usual weird taste in his mouth didn’t make him feel any more attractive either. “I’m not pretty.”

“You’re the prettiest. You’re fucking perfect,” he said, and while Frank kind of wanted to laugh it off and tell Gerard to stop being an idiot, there was this sincerity in Gerard’s voice that made Frank blush and curl up against him, hiding his smile.

“Shut up.”

Gerard chuckled. “Make me.”

So Frank leaned up and kissed him again, making Gerard hum. He squeaked and chuckled when Gerard pulled him on top of him at once, always keeping his lips moving against Frank’s and his hands tightly around him. “Like this?” he mumbled into Gerard’s mouth, then pulled back a little.

“Like this is nice. You’re still perfect though,” Gerard grinned. Frank leaned down to shut him up a little longer.

When Frank was on his back again and Gerard was pressing gentle kisses to his neck and shoulders, Frank felt his cock twitch, and he found himself hoping Gerard would touch him again. He wouldn’t ask him to, though. He’d already done so much more for him in just two days than Aaron had in the last six months, and he didn’t want to sound ungrateful. He was really fucking grateful. Every tiny praise Gerard whispered, every kiss, every gentle touch meant the world to Frank. He realized he hadn’t really told Gerard so.

It took him a moment to find his voice because Gerard’s lips felt so good on his skin. “Gee,” he said, clearing his throat a little when he sounded all raucous. Gerard looked up at him expectantly. “I’m, um. I just wanted to thank you. For… for everything, I guess.”

“Thank me?” Gerard frowned but there was a smile on his face. “Trust me when I say it was my pleasure.”

Frank whimpered when Gerard planted more kisses on his chest, getting close to his nipples again. “You make me feel so good,” he said. God, he hoped he didn’t sound like a fucking idiot. But Gerard _was_ making him feel good, and he wanted him to know how special this was for him.

“Yeah?” Gerard licked over Frank’s nipple, causing Frank to gasp.

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding quickly. “I don’t think I’ve ever cum this hard before. No one’s ever… I mean, you just…”

Even a few years ago, Aaron had never made him feel this good. Frank was too ashamed to say so out loud, but luckily Gerard seemed to understand. “You know, it’s his loss he never treated you right. You sound so fucking hot when you cum.”

Frank swallowed and giggled to hide his embarrassment. He was definitely on his way to another erection now. “He never cared this much,” he told him, closing his eyes when Gerard took a tiny bit of skin between his teeth, tugging on it deliciously. “Fuck. He- He used to treat me better but…”

“Not anymore?”

“No,” Frank sighed. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the right time to… whine about him.”

Gerard took his hand and kissed it. “It’s never not the right time to talk about your feelings, baby,” he said, smiling at him. Frank’s heart exploded.

“It’s- It’s just,” he began, but talking yet again got harder when Gerard let go of his hand and kissed his neck instead. “It’s kinda ridiculous when I think back to… how it used to be and compare it to what he’s like nowadays. But even when he didn’t mind sucking me off and letting me top and all that shit, it never was like… what?”

Gerard was looking at him again, one brow raised, like he wasn’t sure he’d heard Frank right. “He doesn’t let you top?” he asked, sounding skeptical, and Frank blushed. “Like, ever?”

“Yeah, but. I don’t mind. I like being fucked,” Frank explained quickly. “And I _love_ it when you fuck me. I just used to wish he’d let me be on top every now and then. Even if it’s just once a month or-”

“Do you wanna fuck me?”

“Huh?” Suddenly Frank’s throat felt dry. It took him a moment to shake his head. “Oh. No, I don’t think… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

Gerard kissed his cheek. “Don’t be sorry, baby. It’s all good. But _do_ you wanna fuck me?”

“Gee, I… I don’t know,” Frank mumbled, feeling his pulse speed up yet again. He couldn’t believe Gerard was seriously putting that offer on the table right now. Just like that. Frank didn’t even have to promise to do the dishes all week first. “You don’t have to do that for me,” he said then, more sure of himself. “I mean, maybe I’m not even good at it. He must have his reasons for not wanting me to do it anymore. We can just-”

“Bullshit. I bet you’re great.”

Frank gulped. Honestly, he really fucking wanted to give it a try. He probably wouldn’t last very long, but just the thought of Gerard wanting him to fuck him, the thought of him trusting him enough, made Frank’s cock twitch in excitement. But he didn’t want Gerard to feel like he had to do this for him, just because he’d decided to whine about it. “No, Gee, really. It’s alright. Also, I just came so hard, I doubt I’ll get it up again in like the next two weeks.”

Chuckling, Gerard pushed himself up. Frank shivered as he saw the determination in his eyes. “I wasn’t talking about right now,” he said, making Frank blush. “But I accept your challenge.”

“I didn’t…” 

Frank trailed off watching Gerard squeeze some more lube onto his fingers. Gerard straddled him, one hand right by Frank’s head to hold himself up, the other one behind his back, and Frank was so overwhelmed by Gerard fucking _fingering himself_ for him that he forgot how to breathe for a few seconds. Then Gerard moaned and Frank snapped out of it. “Gee, seriously,” he said again, even though his cock was already getting hard again and his fingers were itching to touch him. “Please don’t do this because I… I mean, you don’t have to-”

Gerard pressed their lips together again, slipping his tongue into Frank’s mouth and kissing him hotly. Frank’s fingers were in his hair faster than he could comprehend. He pulled him even closer and started rocking his hips up, unable to control himself, and Gerard grinned when his boner bumped into his thigh. “Knew I could get you hard again,” he mumbled. “You wanna fuck me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I do.” Frank nodded hastily. “I just don’t want you to-”

He was cut off once more when Gerard took his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down hard enough to make Frank groan and stop his protests. “Frankie, I _like_ it up the ass,” he said quietly, just then moaning softly as if to remind Frank he was already prepping himself for him. “I like switching it up a bit. Now can you please stop being an idiot and let me ride you?”

Frank inhaled deeply. This was officially the best day of his fucking life. He nodded after a moment, whimpering when Gerard smirked and sat up. “Don’t even need to suck you first, hm?” Gerard took Frank’s dick in his hand and gave him a few experimental tugs, making Frank choke back groans. “You’re so fucking hard already.”

“Well, yeah, you’re- you’re really fucking hot like this,” Frank babbled out, making Gerard smirk wider as he grabbed another condom. He loved the teasing expression on his face and how elegant he looked on top of him, jerking him off. Frank had always felt really awkward riding Aaron. He never knew where to look or what to do with his hands or how fast to go. Gerard looked like a fucking pro as he lubed Frank up and sat up on his knees, and then Frank’s tip was lined up with his entrance and Frank’s fingers were digging into Gerard’s thighs. “Ready?” Gerard asked. Frank groaned and nodded his head frantically, holding onto him even tighter. His eyes closed of their own accord when Gerard pushed himself down and Frank slipped into him after a few torturous moments. Holy fucking shit. Frank’s body trembled as he fought with himself to keep still and his brain stopped working altogether. Everything inside of him screamed at him to thrust his hips up, to push even deeper into that tight, warm heat, but the last thing he wanted was to hurt Gerard.

He slowly pried his eyes open when Gerard let out a shaky breath and sunk down lower, wanting to see his face when he was inside of him for the very first time. Gerard’s bottom lip was trapped between his teeth as he gradually lowered himself onto Frank, but when he caught Frank’s eye, he smiled at him. “Wish you could see yourself, Frankie,” he said, voice breathy. “You look so good. So damn hot.”

“Says you,” Frank huffed. He was sure he’d be close already if he hadn’t cum earlier. Even like this, he could already feel it wouldn’t take him very long, and the sight of Gerard licking his lips and the feeling of his hands on his chest, blunt nails scraping his skin, wasn’t doing anything to make him hold off either.

They both moaned when Gerard sank down the last few inches. Frank saw Gerard’s eyelids flutter. “You okay?” he asked, moving his hands from Gerard’s thighs to his hip to be able to hold him better. He felt a wave of relief seeing Gerard’s cock was hard, so he really wasn’t doing this just for Frank.

“Yeah.” Gerard nodded, keeping his eyes closed. “Fuck, Frankie.”

Frank opened his mouth to reply, but Gerard chose that moment to roll his hips the first time, and he let out a low groan instead that got completely drowned out by Gerard’s high-pitched noise. Then he rolled his hips again, and again, and soon Frank could just hold onto his hips for dear life. Gerard felt incredible around him. His whole body was buzzing with pleasure, and it somehow got better each time Gerard bounced up and down, creating friction that had Frank gasping and cursing pretty much non-stop. His eyes were glued to Gerard’s beautiful form on top of him. He had his head thrown back, exposing his throat, and let out unashamed moans that were driving Frank crazy.

He couldn’t help himself when he dragged Gerard down, pulling him in for a hungry kiss. His moans sounded even prettier up close; Frank could fucking _feel_ them against his lips, and swallowed down every little gasp and groan. It felt kind of surreal _he_ was making Gerard moan like that. That he could make him feel this good. His hips met Gerard’s when he moved down on him the next time, causing him to whimper and come to a halt, panting into Frank’s mouth.

“Fuck, sorry,” Frank said, cupping Gerard’s face and tilting it up so he could look at him. “Sorry, did that hurt? I didn’t-”

“No, it didn’t fucking hurt,” Gerard interrupted him. He crashed their lips together again and started moving on top of Frank again, hips moving faster than before. “Do it again,” he groaned into Frank’s mouth, hand tightening in his hair in a demanding way. “Fuck me.”

Frank’s body obeyed without his consent, because apparently, that was all he’d needed. Forgetting he felt insecure, he thrust his hips up again, meeting Gerard’s movements and growing bolder by the second. Gerard started fucking moaning his name when he shifted his body just a little, finally hitting his prostate. He hissed when Gerard pulled on his hair even tighter and pushed his hips down eagerly. “I’m close. Touch me, Frankie,” he whimpered, and another wave of arousal rushed through Frank’s entire body. His balls drew up at the thought of being able to make Gerard cum like this, that he enjoyed having his cock in his ass really that much. Maybe they could do this more often.

He reached down to jerk Gerard off, feeling himself get close to the edge as well. It only took him a few strokes until he collapsed on top of Frank and he tightened around him in the best way possible, causing Frank to thrust up into him frantically as he hit his high as well. Gerard moved lazily around him, helping him through it, and only pulled off when Frank was panting and wincing, becoming oversensitive.

“Told you,” was the first thing Gerard said when they’d both caught their breath again. He kissed him once more, slower this time, before he rolled over and wrapped his arm around Frank.

“What?”

“That you’re great at this.”

Frank giggled. “At what? Lying still and watching you while you do all the work? Yeah, I guess I’m not too bad at that.”

He laughed more when Gerard gave him a playful smack. “That’s not all you did. But okay, if that wasn’t enough for you, we can do a position where you have to do most of the work. Any preferences?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” Frank said, feeling himself blush. He still couldn’t believe Gerard would just let him pick like that. He could probably tell him he wanted to try something _kinky_ and Gerard would be okay with giving it a shot. “I still wanna suck you off. And we could… I don’t know, what’s your favorite position?”

“Frankie, I wanna know what _you’re_ into,” Gerard remarked with a grin.

“Yeah, uh… You riding me was pretty awesome,” Frank said.

Gerard grinned at him. “I know. Anything else?” When Frank hesitated, Gerard gave him a brief kiss that was somehow really reassuring. He knew it was ridiculous that he was so nervous talking about this, but he’d never really discussed his preferences. “Okay, my favorite position is probably doggy when I take it. But I love to be on top too. Do you like doggy?”

“Yeah,” Frank said, grateful he was being so patient with him. He knew his cheeks were still pink when he kept talking, though. “Doggy’s good. But I also really like… looking at the other person, you know? Like, being able to see their face.”

“Oh yeah, eye contact is super important. What I like about being taken from behind is how rough it can get. I’m a big fan of that,” he said with a shrug. “But if you’re not into that, we don’t have to do it, of course.”

“No, I wanna,” Frank blurted out, quicker than he’d intended and making Gerard giggle. As if he’d say no to Gerard getting on all fours for him. His cock gave an exhausted twitch at the mere thought of it. “I mean I’m… I’m willing to give it a try.”

Gerard kissed his cheek. “Good to know, baby. Okay, what about… toys and shit? What do you like?”

“Toys?” Frank swallowed, shaking his head. “I don’t- I mean, I’ve never…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never experimented with toys. Handcuffs? Vibrators?” Gerard laughed when Frank shook his head again, eyes wide. “Wow. We’re gonna have so much fun, Frankie. I got a whole drawer of toys I want you to try out.”

Frank was pretty sure his cock would be hard again if he weren’t feeling so drained. A whole drawer? He couldn’t fucking wait. “Maybe we can start with the handcuffs this weekend?” he suggested, smiling when Gerard hummed and leaned in for another kiss.

“Well, we’d have to go to my apartment for that because I didn’t bring my toys but… I’m sure we can figure it out,” he grinned. Their lips moved together slowly for a few minutes, tongues darting out a few times, like they were teasing each other, and fuck, Frank really wished they could go for another round already.

“So… does this mean you’ve made a choice?” Gerard asked then, sounding tentative. It took Frank a moment to get what he meant. “Are you gonna break up with him?”

“Oh. Yeah, I am. Of course I am,” Frank said. It had been so obvious to him that he hadn’t even realized he hadn’t told Gerard. “I’ll probably tell him tomorrow. It’s- fuck, it’s gonna be a tough conversation, but… I’m kinda looking forward to it, you know? It just needs to be done. And after that I can spend my time with you.”

Gerard nodded, smiling at him. “Okay. That’s great, Frankie, I really believe it’s the right thing to do. He isn’t good for you. But… You’re not breaking up with him because of me, right?”

“Um.” Frank hesitated, feeling something cold drop in his stomach. Of course he was breaking up with him so he could be with Gerard. That was what they both wanted, right? But the way Gerard was looking at him now made him feel like he’d misread the entire situation. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I don’t-”

“I mean, I do want you to break up with him and I do want to be with you,” Gerard said quickly, making Frank’s heart clench in relief. “That sounded like I’m trying to tell you I’m not interested in anything but fucking, shit, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t want you to feel like you have a choice between me and him. I’m glad you wanna be with me but I want you to break up with him because _you_ want to. You know? Like, don’t just dump him so you can be with me. Dump him because he doesn’t make you happy. Do it for yourself. Does that make sense?”

Frank nodded after a moment. Gerard was so fucking perfect. “Yeah,” he said, smiling at him. “It does. I am doing it for myself. I’ve been unhappy for a while… you just helped me realize that. I guess I used to be too scared though. Because I didn’t really have anyone but him. But now I got you. And hopefully Mikey… and I’ll figure it out from there.”

“Good.” Gerard sighed, pulling Frank a little closer. “I’m sorry, Frankie.”

Frank frowned. “For what?”

“For not… you know, asking you out before you got together with Aaron,” Gerard said. Frank pulled back to look at him, his heart speeding up again, because Gerard couldn’t really be telling him this right now. “I really regret that, you know. But… I couldn’t. You were Mikey’s best friend. And I was too old. Now it doesn’t matter you’re a few years younger than me, but back then… my mom would’ve killed me.”

“So you- Are you saying you… you _liked_ me?” Frank stuttered out. This had to be another fucking dream.

“Well, yeah. I thought that was kinda obvious. I mean, you’ve always been so fucking cute, and I’ve always tried to impress you… make you think I was cool. I was so pathetic,” he chuckled, shaking his head a little. “When you came out, I was gonna ask you out. But I was scared I’d just make things awkward between us, or even worse, between you and Mikey. I didn’t wanna risk your friendship. So it took me a few weeks to make a decision and then you started dating Aaron.”

Frank could just stare at him for a few moments. “Seriously?” he croaked out. Gerard nodded. 

“I never told Mikey but I reckon he knew. And then you got together with Aaron and I may have gotten a little drunk and told him, after all. And he told me I was a moron and then called you to tell you that you’re a moron for dating Aaron and you got in a fight… So I guess it’s kinda my fault your friendship ended. I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit, they’ve always hated each other’s guts. It’s not your fault,” Frank said determinedly. “So why didn’t Mikey just tell me? That you liked me?”

Gerard looked even guiltier. “I asked him not to. I didn’t think I had much of a chance with you anyway, and you were dating Aaron so… I didn’t wanna make things weird.”

“I’ve had a crush on you since I was fucking twelve years old. Pretty much since I came here for the first time. I’ve spent years admiring you, and thinking about what kissing you would feel like, and praying we’d somehow end up together. And now you’re telling me you liked me back? The whole fucking time?”

“Well, maybe not the _whole_ time,” Gerard said, smiling at Frank. “Not when you were _twelve_ -”

“You know what I mean,” Frank chuckled. Wow. This meant he could’ve kissed Gerard years ago. He could’ve visited him in New York. He could’ve moved to New York with him. “So if I hadn’t gone on that date with Aaron, you would’ve… you would’ve asked me out?”

Gerard shrugged. “Probably. I don’t know if I would’ve had the guts to go through with it but… I wanted to. Fuck, this is a mess.”

“You’re not fucking with me?”

“No,” Gerard said, raising his brows. “Swear to god. You wouldn’t believe how excited I was to see you again on Monday. And how stupid I felt when you told me you were engaged to Aaron. I was so nervous.”

On Monday. Frank took a moment to reflect on how much his life had changed within the last _four days_. It seemed to be a lifetime ago that he’d woken up next to Aaron that morning. “You seemed so confident,” he said, unable to hide how amazed he’d been by that.

“I really wasn’t. My heart was totally beating like crazy the whole time,” he admitted, making Frank giggle. “But… everything’s worked out, hasn’t it? I mean, you’re here now. And you know how I feel about you.”

Frank nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. But now it does feel like I wasted the last three years of my life.”

“Come on, I’m sure there were nice moments between you and him…”

“Yeah, well… it does feel like such a waste in comparison to this, though,” Frank said honestly, making Gerard sigh.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, don’t be stupid,” Frank chuckled, kissing his lips briefly. “I could’ve asked you out too. But I didn’t because I thought you were totally out of my league.”

Gerard snorted at that. “Yeah, right. You were in a _band_ , Frankie. Meanwhile I was fangirling over Houdini.”

“I always thought you were the coolest person ever,” Frank said. Gerard giggled again so Frank kissed him, needing him to see he was serious. When they parted Gerard was still smiling, caressing Frank’s cheek with his thumb. Frank couldn’t believe it could’ve been like this the whole time. If only he’d known… If only he’d told Mikey. If he’d told Mikey that he liked Gerard, Mikey would’ve encouraged Gerard to ask Frank on a date, screw Aaron. Instead, he’d delved into a relationship with someone who hated his best friend and made him isolate himself, who didn’t appreciate him at all.

But Gerard was right. Things had worked out eventually, and dwelling on all the what ifs wasn’t going to change anything. Now he just needed to tell Aaron they weren't geting married after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Frank felt guilty when Aaron left the next morning. He’d felt guilty the whole damn week, but now that he knew he’d break up with him in only a few hours, his heart was all heavy and he almost felt like throwing up.

He knew he should’ve broken up with him yesterday, right when he’d come home. Part of him had hoped there’d be a mark on his neck from where Gerard had nibbled on his skin, just so he wouldn’t have to be the one to start the argument. He’d much rather have Aaron shout at him and blame him for everything that was wrong with their relationship than telling him he wanted to break up out of the blue.

But when Aaron had come home, tipsy from spending time with the guys, Frank couldn’t bring himself to say it. He knew dumping him would be a disaster if they were both sober. But if Aaron was drunk while he heard Frank tell him he’d fucked someone else and that he didn’t want to be with him anymore… Frank couldn’t even imagine what that would result in. He didn’t want to find out.

So he’d forced himself to act normal. Of course, Aaron had been annoyed when Frank wouldn’t spread his legs for him and when he was too tired for kisses, but Frank was sure he wasn’t suspecting anything was wrong just yet. Which was exactly what Frank was so tired of. Aaron took him for granted – he never noticed when there was something on Frank’s mind.

He’d finally managed to sleep in today. Aaron walking around the apartment had woken him up briefly a few hours ago, but Frank had managed to fall asleep again, so by the time he rolled out of bed and made himself a cup of coffee, it was almost noon. Which was fine. Frank didn’t have to be anywhere today. He’d just have to break up with his fiancé later… and then he had plans to meet up with Gerard. Maybe. Depending on how well Aaron took it. Frank was sort of expecting a really lengthy, nerve-wracking discussion, and he didn’t know whether Gerard would be up for dealing with him after going through something like that. Aaron would probably try to change his mind. And he’d probably succeed if Gerard hadn’t encouraged him so many times that breaking up was the right decision.

Aaron used to have him wrapped around his finger. But not anymore.

Frank flinched when his ring tone disrupted his thoughtful silence. He put his coffee down and grabbed his phone from the table, shrugging when he saw an unknown number was calling him, and accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Frank? Uh, this is Mikey. Gee gave me your number… Is this a bad time?”

Frank’s throat felt dry all of a sudden. Mikey. He hadn’t heard his voice in so damn long, yet he recognized it immediately.

“Hello? Is this Frank?”

“Hi, yeah. Yeah, sorry,” Frank said quickly, snapping out of his stupor. “I was just… Sorry, I forgot- I wasn’t expecting…”

“If this is a bad time, I’ll just call you later. I’m just leaving for work in a few and I wanted to call you before.”

“No, this isn’t a bad time. I’m not busy. Sorry. I’ve… I’ve just had a rough couple of days, I’m sorry I forgot you were gonna call.” Frank closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. Why was he so fucking stiff? This was Mikey, for fuck’s sake.

“Yeah, so I heard,” Mikey said. Frank could’ve sworn he could hear the smirk in his voice. “Finally broke up with that moron, huh?”

“Yeah. Well, not yet, but I will. Today.”

Mikey hummed. “Good.”

An awkward pause followed. Frank silently prayed for Mikey to keep speaking, bobbing his leg up and down nervously. When he didn’t after a few moments, Frank knew it was his turn to talk. “Mikey, I’m… I’m really sorry. It’s so good to hear your voice, like- I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I was such an idiot. I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry-”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Mikey said, but Frank shook his head.

“No, really. I’m so sorry. For everything. I can’t believe I let Aaron do that to me. I’m not saying this is his fault, it’s mine, I should have listened to you, not him. You were my best friend. Fuck, I’m such an asshole. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Frank. Really. I’m not mad at you. I still gotta digest that you boned my brother, but I’m not mad at you,” Mikey answered, laughing a little, and Frank wiped his eyes dry with a breathless chuckle.

“Yeah, that. I’m sorry for that too.”

“It’s definitely weird, but Gee is happy, so I guess I can forgive you. Plus, I was kind of a dick too and I definitely missed you a lot, so… maybe we’re even?”

Frank didn’t think Mikey had been a dick. He hadn’t done anything wrong apart from letting a massive asshole be his best friend for almost ten years, but Frank was too relieved to protest. “Okay,” he choked out, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.”

They talked until Mikey had to leave for work. About how Mikey was super bored of his job but fuck, Frank’s job sounded so much more boring, about how he had plans to move in with his girlfriend, about how nervous Frank was about breaking up with Aaron, but _yes_ , he _would_ go through with it, Mikey didn’t need to come over and kick his ass so he wouldn’t chicken out. About how they definitely needed to meet up as soon as possible. And by the time they’d hung up and Frank was alone with his thoughts again, he felt infinitely better.

Mikey texted him a few times throughout the day, and it almost felt like they were in high school again. With Mikey’s funny anecdotes and pictures and the reassuring texts from Gerard, the day passed super fast, and Frank was surprised when he checked the time and it was past 5 o’clock already. Which meant Aaron would be back any minute. And even though he was absolutely sure of himself and that breaking up was what he really wanted, he was so fucking nervous. It wasn’t like Aaron would hurt him or anything but… he was kind of unpredictable. Frank couldn’t wait for this to be over.

Aaron was in the worst possible mood when he got home. He was _horny_. Frank struggled to come up with excuses, dodging most of his kisses and touches, which annoyed Aaron to no end. He ignored Frank’s stammered _We need to talk_ , which was what they always used in movies and Frank thought was _very_ straight-forward, but Aaron told him he could talk to him after he’d taken care of his dick, and somehow Frank couldn’t bring himself to tell him it was over when Aaron had a raging boner and couldn’t keep his hands off him.

“I’m not in the mood,” he told him firmly, pushing his hand away from his thigh. “Aaron, please. I’m being serious.”

“You’re always in the mood,” Aaron protested, trying to kiss Frank and grunting when he pulled back. “What the fuck, Frank? Are you telling me I need to go jerk off? For real?”

“Yeah,” Frank said, trying hard to keep his voice level. “I guess so.”

“You could at least suck me off. You’ve been fucking lazy all day.”

“I’m not in the mood,” Frank repeated sternly, and finally, Aaron seemed to accept it.

He huffed and shrugged. “Fine. I’m so glad I’m engaged,” he mumbled before heading toward the bedroom, leaving Frank to catch his breath. This kind of ruined his entire plan. He’d wanted to talk to him over dinner, try and have a normal conversation with him… Make him see his reasons and hopefully keep Aaron from hitting the roof. But now he was jerking off next door. Frank sat down at the table and gazed at his plate for a few minutes. This would be the last time he’d get the chance to sleep with Aaron. Maybe he should just give in. Let him have him one last time. Aaron probably would be calmer afterward.

But no, he decided, shaking his head to himself. They were done. Frank didn’t have to use his body to keep his mood lifted anymore.

When Aaron joined him a few minutes later, looking remarkably less annoyed, Frank gestured toward the empty chair opposite him. “Will you sit down now, please? I… I got something to tell you.”

“What, you pregnant or something?” Aaron barked out a laugh. “You know what? I feel like eating out today. Get dressed.”

“But I made dinner,” Frank said with a frown, unnecessarily pointing at the food on the table. “Let’s just-”

“We can still eat that for lunch tomorrow,” he interrupted him. “You wanted to go on a date, right? This is me saying yes to that. Pull that stick out of your ass and go put on something nice.”

“But-” Frank began, then cut himself off. Okay. Maybe this would be a good thing. They could go on one last date, maybe even enjoy their time together, and then Frank would break up with him. Maybe doing it in public was a smart move. “Fine. I’ll… I’ll go get changed.”

Wearing one of the shirts Aaron had picked for him, Frank started the car a few minutes later. Of course, Aaron wasn’t very pleased they had to take Frank’s car, and that he wasn’t the one behind the wheel. Frank was glad Aaron’s car was in the shop, though. If things escalated, Frank would’ve probably had to take the bus if he weren’t the one with the car keys.

Aaron wanted to try out a new restaurant today, a Mexican place near the theater downtown. Frank felt sick picturing how excited that would’ve gotten him just a week ago, how happy he’d have been just because Aaron was letting him try something new. Now he was just annoyed because Aaron kept barking directions at him, as if he knew the city way better than Frank.

“I got it, Aaron. I know the damn way,” Frank said eventually, unable to hold himself back any longer. Aaron threw him a salty look that Frank could feel even though he didn’t take his eyes off the road.

“What’s up with you?” he huffed, folding his arms. “You’re being weird. Maybe staying at home all damn week isn’t good for you.”

“Maybe.” Frank shrugged. He was pissed off, but he didn’t want to get into an argument now. He still had some hope somehow this break up wouldn’t end in the both of them yelling at each other.

“Good thing you’re going back to work on Monday. Oh, but get a hair cut before you go back in, yeah? You’re starting to look unkempt.”

Frank raked a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath to force himself to stay calm. “It’s not that long. I like it like this.”

“Well, I don’t, and I don’t wanna be engaged to someone who looks like a hobo,” Aaron said, almost casually, and Frank felt his grip tighten around the wheel.

Then his phone vibrated briefly, signaling Frank had gotten a text. Frank took a moment to curse himself for putting it on the center console out of habit – He usually didn’t have anything to hide, but now he wished he’d just left it in the pocket of his pants.

Aaron didn’t even comment on it as he reached out to grab Frank’s phone. It made Frank blush furiously and he tried to take it from him, keeping his eyes on the road. “Hey, I asked you not to do that.”

“Relax, I’m just- Would you focus on the road? You’re gonna kill us.”

Frank was boiling. Aaron held his phone close to the window where Frank couldn’t reach it without bending over, and he didn’t wanna risk getting into an accident. “Aaron, please-”

“Who’s Mikey?”

“He’s…” Frank took a deep breath. Okay, so maybe this wouldn’t be a calm conversation after all. “You know Mikey. Mikey Way.”

He could feel Aaron’s attitude shifting at once. “Why’s he asking you if you’re free tomorrow?” he asked in that voice that used to make Frank babble out apologies. “You deleted his number years ago.”

“Yeah, but… But we used to be really good friends, Aaron. I wanna get in touch with him again,” Frank explained. He stopped at a red light and raised his chin defiantly at him.

“Cute. But obviously that’s not happening, Frankie. You’ll have to tell him you’re busy.”

“I’m not, though. I wanna see him.”

Aaron raised his brows, surprised by Frank’s answer. Frank couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked back to him. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t have any plans tomorrow. Mikey’s my friend. So I’m gonna meet up with him.” Frank tried his best not to smirk at Aaron’s expression as the light turned green and he had an excuse to look away again. He looked utterly speechless. Which was very fucking satisfying.

“Well, you got plans now. I’m spending the day with you,” Aaron declared.

“I’d rather see Mikey.”

“No,” Aaron said, getting frustrated now. “Frank, what the fuck? We’ve been through that. I don’t like that family. I don’t want you to hang out with them.”

“But I like them. You don’t want me hanging out with anyone but you,” Frank spat. Suddenly he didn’t feel like pretending he was looking forward to having dinner with Aaron anymore. All the times he’d forbidden Frank from seeing his friends were back in his mind now, making him angry, making him want to fucking yell at Aaron and never see his face again.

“I’m your fiancé. I get to tell you who you’re friends with,” Aaron said with a shrug. Frank had had enough. His nonchalance was the last fucking straw.

“No, you don’t. It’s none of your business.”

Aaron sighed when Frank took a right. “See, this is why I wanted to drive. You’re going the wrong way.”

“We’re not going to that restaurant,” Frank said, gritting his teeth.

“Why not?” Aaron asked. “I’m hungry. If you take a left now, we-”

“No. God, could you just shut the fuck up for a second?” Frank said determinedly. Having made his decision, he stopped his car at the side of the street, feeling satisfied when Aaron gave him a bewildered look. Usually, Frank never dared to interrupt him.

“Someone’s moody today. You know I don’t like it when you speak to me like that.”

Frank snorted. “I don’t fucking care,” he said, just to see Aaron’s brows rise even higher.

“Very mature,” Aaron remarked. “Now can we go to the restaurant already? I’m starving. All this drama because of Mikey Way. See, this is why you’re not hanging out with that kid. He puts weird thoughts into your head.”

“I am seeing him tomorrow. I don’t care if you like it or not.”

“You’re _not_ ,” Aaron said firmly, louder than before. Finally he was realizing Frank wasn’t going to bend to his will like he usually did. “Jesus Christ, what is up with you? You’ve been hanging out with him while I was at work, haven’t you? Is that what you wanted to tell me?”

Frank shook his head. “No, but-”

“You’ve been sleeping with him.” Aaron’s eyes narrowed dangerously. Even now, Frank felt himself get uneasy under his glare, but he forced himself to scowl back at him. “Is that it? That’s why you didn’t wanna fuck me.”

“I fucked his brother.”

“You what?” Aaron’s eyes widened and he went pale. Then the color rose back in his cheeks at once. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah. I fucked Gerard,” Frank repeated almost proudly. He hadn’t planned for this to happen, and he surely hadn’t wanted to be so blunt about it. He’d wanted to apologize and tell Aaron he’d enjoyed their time together but things just weren’t working out anymore. But Aaron was making him so angry. It was as though all the frustration he’d been keeping inside for all these months was finally being released, and it felt really fucking good. “And he fucked me. And he sucked me off and he made me cum so much better than you ever have. He made me feel like I was losing my fucking mind.”

Aaron looked taken aback for a few long seconds. Frank rarely saw him speechless. “Wow. Okay,” he said eventually. “You know, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t forgive you for that. But I’ll need some time. You’ll have to come up with something real good to make it up to me. And you better start apologizing right now. This is-”

“Fuck you,” Frank hissed, shaking his head. “I’m not apologizing for shit. You go through my phone like my privacy is a joke to you, you make me clean the apartment – _my_ apartment because you don’t even fucking pay rent – like I’m your maid, you act like I’m a freak when I want you to touch me but when you’re in the mood I have to bend over immediately. You never listen to me when I wanna talk to you, you take me for granted, you don’t let me see my friends, you act like you fucking own me, and you know what? I’ve had enough. It’s over.”

Aaron looked like he hadn’t heard Frank right. There still was this infuriating smug look in his eyes, slowly fading now as Frank’s words were settling in. “What?” he said eventually. “I don’t-”

“You fucking heard me. It’s over,” Frank repeated, just because it felt really damn good to say those words. Aaron was still staring at him like he was going crazy.

“Frank, calm down, would you? You don’t know what you’re saying. Let’s just have dinner and talk about-”

“I’m not getting dinner with you ever again. I’m breaking up with you.”

Aaron shook his head. “We’re getting married in five months. You can’t break up with me.”

“Watch me,” Frank shot back. “Get out of my car.”

“But- Frank, you can’t-”

“Out,” Frank repeated. “I will call you tomorrow and tell you when you can get your shit. If you don’t pick it up, I’ll throw it out.”

“Frank, we can talk about this. It’s okay you fucked Mikey’s brother. I-”

“Aaron, there’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind. Get out of my car.”

He did feel a pang of guilt when Aaron’s expression turned into a helpless one. “Frank,” he said again, almost imploringly now. “Come on. You can’t just… I’m sorry, okay? What can I do to make it up to you? I didn’t realize you were unhappy.”

Frank hesitated. This was the point he usually would’ve given in. Of course, this was all just a trick, though. This wasn’t the first time he’d promised to change. After cheating on Frank the first time, and the second time… but everything always got back to _normal_ after a few days. Frank was done waiting around for some kind of miracle. “There’s nothing you can do. Get out.”

“Where am I even supposed to go? My brother’s out of town. You know I had a fight with my dad last week. I don’t have any other clothes. And my toothbrush! I gotta-”

“You can pick everything up tomorrow,” Frank repeated. He was tired of Aaron’s excuses and was getting impatient to have him out of his damn car already. “I don’t care where you’ll go. Just go. Jesus Christ.”

“Frank-”

“ _Go_ ,” Frank said, louder this time, and finally, Aaron did. He gave him one last look, a mix between desperation and fury, but then he dropped Frank’s phone onto the console and opened the door. Frank didn’t give him a chance to change his mind. He hit the gas as soon as the door was closed again, leaving his ex-fiancé on the sidewalk and not even feeling bad about it. Adrenaline was coursing through him now, because fuck, he’d done it. He’d really fucking done it.

His heart was still racing when he pulled into the parking lot in front of his apartment a few minutes later. He was grinning like an idiot, replaying their conversation in his head over and over. Aaron had looked so shocked. Frank had never talked to him like this before, had never dared to really speak his mind, and he was damn proud of himself. Aaron was probably trying to convince himself that Frank was just having a weird day and that they’d talk it out tomorrow right now, but there was nothing in the whole fucking world that would make Frank go back to him. He’d ask Mikey to come over tomorrow, so he wouldn’t have to face him alone when he came to pick up his things.

But right now, the person he wanted to talk to the most was Gerard. His hands trembled a little when he picked up his phone and dialed Gerard’s number, feeling his heart speed up even more.

Gerard was quick to answer his call. “Hi, Frankie. How did it go? Are you okay?” he asked, sounding so sweet and concerned. Frank smiled.

“I’m okay,” he told him. “It went pretty good, I think. I don’t know. I was kind of an asshole.”

“You deserve to be. He had it coming.”

Frank chuckled briefly. “Yeah, I guess. It still feels kinda weird, though. Like, I’m really fucking happy right now. I should’ve dumped him months ago… But I dated him for so long. He was kind of a big part of my life, you know?”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Please,” Frank said, feeling a wave of gratitude for Gerard. He didn’t even have to ask him. “I... I made dinner earlier if you’re hungry. And we could just watch a movie or something?”

“Sounds perfect,” Gerard replied. “I’ll be there in ten, baby.”

Frank was smiling to himself when he hung up. Finally he could invite people over without having to worry about what Aaron would think. He could spend time with Gerard and not feel guilty about it, and he could hang out with Mikey without getting shit for it later.

Facing Aaron again the next day would be rough, but Frank forced himself not to worry about that just now. He got out of the car and hurried back upstairs, wanting to get into something less fancy before Gerard arrived, maybe preheat dinner already. As he hurried around the apartment, he realized he _did_ feel like Aaron had been holding him prisoner, and today was the first day he got to be free again. The apartment wasn’t super tidy, dinner wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but Frank reckoned it didn’t matter – Tonight would be special no matter what. He couldn’t wait for Gerard to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i was gonna post my ko-fi here but obviously there are way more important issues at hand. if you have any money to spare, please consider supporting blm instead! it's so, so important we don't stay silent. thanks guys x  
> https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/


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